My line on pets has stayed constant for years. No.
No pets. NO PETS.
NONONONOPETS.
Except.Shark says she wants something to love. She says she tried loving a fuchsia plant but it was not very rewarding and it died.
I said that was too much love. Fuchsia plants do not like watering as if you are reenacting tropical storms over Hong Kong. Back off a little with the love.
Anyway, everyone knows that fuchsias are fickle. It probably would shrug its leaves and say love is a thing, as any spirit, free. That is a truth of life. I don't know. Go and love a geranium.
Shark says she has tried, but the problem with vegetation is that it does not have a heart. Can she have a fish.
No, of course not. Keeping anything with a heart in a tank, cage, hutch, prison, is against my principles. You would overlove it, then neglect it, and we would have a big shout about responsibility, CRUELTY, SUFFERING and DEATH. Better to avoid all that in the first place and love all things, free.
Shark has said this is truly hard to bear, especially when she would like the opportunity to be responsible and show how sensitive she can be to the needs of creatures with a heart.
I have put my fingers in my ears. Arguments that shift the moral ground back to me are usually quite difficult to endure. Better to avoid them all in the first place.
So the way I have thought about it, is this. (
Shifty.)
Hello Sam, and all you lovely home educating families within a short drive of Shark, Squirrel and Tiger!
I bet your children would like the opportunity to love a pet and show you how responsible they can be!But we all know that keeping a pet is a big responsibility! (Too big for me.)
Yet I would like Shark and her sisters to know this responsibility too. (There have been tears.)
How would a travelling hamster sound? He would be like a Flat Stanley (only hopefully Not Flat)
.
Hammy would live with us while we are in England, where he would be overloved with juicy treats, home-made hamster assault courses, and where I will safeguard him against reenactments of tropical rainstorms.
When we are absent, Hammy comes to live with you!
Sounding good, no? (Stay with it.)
When you feel Hammy has brought enough qualities of pet responsibility to your home and is in danger of overstaying his welcome, you can assist the next welcoming family and pass him on!
(Good grief, it is sounding really bad now.)
Just think what benefits Hammy can bring to your education! He could have his own blogspot! Your child can write his entries for him! (Aha! Excuses for literacy! I might have a foot in the door here.)
Think of the Design and Technology opportunities for those Hammy exercise courses! You can do Physics! Science! Natural History! The Personal, Social and Something Else! (Even I can feel the desperation in those exclamation marks.)
But take a moment and consider this exciting opportunity! Then only tell me how much of a brilliant solution to satisfy everyone is this!
(Quickly, before I come to my senses, the deed is done and, in anticipation of your happy agreement, posting pictures of Hammy, the NOPET hamster.)
