Wednesday, 5 November 2008

A grand day out down the sewage farm

Here we go, once again to the sweet-smelling English fields, in pursuit of an education. This time to the local sewage farm.

First we must all don yellow jackets. Yes, Tiger, that includes you. Do as you are told. It is because there are poopy lorries here. You might be knocked into a vat of poo by accident. Of course I will not throw you in. I was joking.

Now for the guided tour.

From this point, I became very confused. Really, I became lost about the order in which all the poo and waste water from all your houses goes through the vats, channels and drains. In fact it is so totally confusing down at this sewage farm you can be very glad I am not in charge of the control buttons.

At some points the waste stuff needs to go into these tanks ...

and along these channels ...

then under this sprayer thing...

and this hole in the ground has something to do with it too.

And from all that poopy washing-up and laundry water comes clean water again. Bio things have something to do with it, and fatty particles are removed, crisp packets and artificial limbs are fished out, and fertilizers for farms are made, so cleaned up stuff heads back onto the fields for the carrots, and you can turn on the tap in the shower and hopefully not be drenched in wee. Amazing, right?

But I know you come to this blog for more than to learn about what goes on in English fields, or about Grit's exciting life of home education with triplets and an absent husband; it is also to learn something new about the world we all share.

Well I can teach you something new. It is how to make poo.

Take one Weetabix biscuit and pour over it a small amount of cold tea. When the Weetabix has soaked up the tea, you should be able to squeeze it and shape it like a poopy. Then drop it in a bucket of yellow coloured water and Voila!

Shark in charge of the poopy drop.

Next week, how to make nuclear fusion in the bathtub.


Brad said...

Just know that I was here and held my tongue. Poo is too tempting a subject.

I'll just be a good boy and stay quiet.

Sam said...

I don't think I'll be adding that to my craft list, lol.
Thanks for sharing though...I think.

sharon said...

You do go to the nicest places!! Looking forward to the yellowcake in the bathtub though....

On the subject of nuclear power, our newly elected State Government has just lifted the ban on uranium mining which had been imposed by previous gov'ts. Am expecting disaster to strike if the ban isn't re-imposed before mining actually commences:-(

Elizabeth said...

Ummm--I think we'll give that HE experience a miss!