Day off

Shark travels to London with daddy Dig. This is her one-to-one time. It is also our reaction to the nuisance she can make of herself by yelling volume 11 abuse at Squirrel every morning at 8am from the top bunk. And to the bullying tactics she is currently adopting with Tiger, who has taken to fleeing the room the moment things look tricky. Add that to the thumping she gave me yesterday and the abuse she is now routinely hurling at Dig.

The theory is that, with one-to-one time, we can pay Shark some attention, give Squirrel a rest, and take the screaming banshee practising her obscenities away from my vicinity before I put that threat into action and drive her, sobbing, broken-hearted, determined and vengeful, to the Metro Centre to abandon her.

Shark and daddy Dig have quite an adventure after spending six hours gazing at specimens of marine animals in pickle at the Natural History Museum. At home time they are abandoned by the train company at Euston, have to leg it over to Paddington, get thrown off the train early, are picked up by strangers, one of whom turns out to be a school inspector, and are driven home to arrive at 10pm.

We tell Shark that this is an excellent introduction to the perils of travel in faraway places like India and China. Daddy Dig says Shark has totally risen to the challenge and that she is sweet, courteous, well mannered and calm throughout the ordeal, even managing to charm the school inspector with articulate and erudite tales of giant squid and angler fish.

And when life with Shark become dodgy again, I will have to re-think my plan of abandoning her at the Metro Centre, because with a travel experience like this and her calm and resourceful attitude, she may possibly find her way home.