Dig's day

Took family to Philippines. Hired car and driver to detour to Taal Volcano. Boat transferred to Puerto Galera as requested.

Priorities: contact Sweden before 10pm HK time. Arrange contract with Brazil.

See? That would be it, if this was dig's day. If it was grit's day, it would be,

Cebu Pacific Airlines? Do they seriously think selling you life insurance for the duration of the flight helps you feel confident?

And the way the crew demand that you all sing? Something should be done to stop it. Enforced choirs of Gloria Gaynor at 20,000 feet is not 'happy food for the soul'. But at least they didn't make us clap and cheer when the pilot landed, like they did on the flight with Air Portugal. As if it was important to mark the day he got it right.

I thought the transport horror had finished until we got in the car, where the driver said 'My daddy, he is in heaven', laughed like a wild man, and plunged us down the side of the volcano while the windscreen was totally obscured with a swinging painting of Christ. I spent the rest of the journey trying to figure out which side of the road this country drives on.

But I have to say, this boat business works well. I'm not sure about the wisdom of splattering 'God bless our trip' in front of the steering wheel. And I don't understand how the driver can see anything when he sits at the back wearing sunglasses with his feet up, but Dig says that man up front in the tee-shirt is lookout, so they probably have hand signals.

Then we arrive and I have to say, the Philippines? It's like paradise. So what is the matter with Kid A? Why is she so bloody miserable? Is it necessary that within two hours I am held hostage by some sodding tomato sauce? There was nothing wrong with it. I wouldn't have weakened like Dig, with an emergency cheese pizza.

And Kid B forgot her swimming costume. Typical. How many times did I say it's a beach holiday?

Kid C is a paragon of virtue of course, considering this trip is mainly for her. All the obvious delight is doing no good for sisterly love.

Aunty Dee? Same as ever. You can take the girl out of Morpeth but you can't take Morpeth out of the girl. She claims 'Mindoro Island is just like Northumberland. But with more sun'.

I shall leave the day's diary here, but I will end on dig's day, with

She wants photos of the boat to Mindoro Island. I don't know why. I mean, it's not like they're providing an income stream.