Home ed kid meets Sixth form

Hey, remember how we get told that Interviews are the place where you, the candidate, get to shine? This is your moment when you can boast about your achievements? Your 30 minutes to show yourself at your best?

Have a look at what happens to the home educated child going to the local sixth form for an interview:

Geography teacher aka admissions interviewer: G
Daughter, aged 16: D
Husband in attendance: H

G: Ah! Home educated! How does that work then? I don't suppose you've had any experience working in groups.
D: Er, er, yes I have, we do a lot of things in groups.
G: Hm. Why are you home educated?
D: Er... er... my parents ....
H: I was the chair of governors at the local primary school.
G: Oh, right then [turning to daughter] When was your last experience of school?
D: Erm, I've never been to school.
G [facial expression: puzzlement at hearing an unknown language] : Who teaches you?
D: Er, I teach myself.
G [facial expression: puzzlement at hearing an unknown language] :What? Where are your tutors?
D: Er, er, er...
G: Tutors! Who teaches you?
D: Er... um... um... [starting to panic] I have a remote tutor for Biology! I send her papers and she marks them!
G: Ah! What about the other subjects? Where is the tutor?
D: Er, I don't have tutors! I teach myself. I look at the specification, and the mark scheme.
G [facial expression: puzzlement at hearing an unknown language] : But you're not the teacher!
D: Er, er, er.. [tears welling]
G: How about working in groups? Can you work with other people? Have you any experience of working in groups? What if the teacher said 'Work in a group'. Can you do that?
D: Um, well, we did a community action project with our Global Citizenship IGCSE. We had a group to litter pick and do things, like we handed out cloth bags at Tesco.
G: Who did you use to do that?
D: Er... er...?
G: Where was the teacher?
D: Um, we just went to Tesco and asked them ourselves!
G [facial expression: puzzlement at hearing an unknown language] : But you're not the teacher!
D: Er... er...
G: Well you've put in to do A levels in Maths, Physics, and Design and Technology. You can't do Design and Technology because you're five years behind. I can put you down for Biology A level instead. We ask for 8 GCSEs and you'll have only 7. I suppose we can bend the rules.We won't fill all the places so you'll probably get an offer. Now shall I tick this box that you're able to work in a group? Oh dear. You're crying. Have I upset you?

Welcome to mass education, Shark.