Lost

A day of wandering around vaguely, starting a lot of projects all over the house, abandoning them, wandering off and starting another vague unfocused activity somewhere else, before wandering off from that. Result: trail of unfinished projects, unlikely objects scattered around the house, and no sense of achievement.

This reveals two things. First, I like a sense of achievement to every day. 'Well! At least I got the washing done!' I could say that if I'd actually done it. But no. There's a pile of laundry on the kitchen floor, thoughtfully removed from the laundry basket where it was hidden. When it was in there, we didn't have to step over it.

'Well, I cooked!' I might say that. 'A family meal!' Er, actually, no. Two stone baked pizza bases from Tesco with some rubber cheese rammed on top probably doesn't qualify.

I could try 'I changed the bed linen and tidied the bedrooms!' No. Or, 'I've started setting another book!' No. 'I've spent such a fab time with the kids and Squirrel's read the word 'chaotic'!' Nope. I have spent no time with Squirrel, Shark or Tiger. In fact, the only thing I probably did achieve, i.e. putting their doll prams into the freecycle pile, they dragged out again. The doll prams were stashed away quietly in the garage, bothering no-one. Now they're stashed behind the front room curtains.

So it's the office then. 'I've got all the paperwork cleared from my desk!' Ha. That would be a thing. I made a list of twenty things to do two days ago, most of which are achievable with five minutes thought, and all I did today was add 'Dentist' to the list.

Why haven't I achieved anything today? This leads me to my second thought, which I've thought before, and often. When there's been a period of real focused work round here, like setting a book, or changing the house round, or clearing the garden and establishing a Celtic roundhouse, I go through a day or two of having no focus at all.

No focus. Absolutely none. I'm dazed, blank in the head. Staring.

So now I'm off wandering again, wondering about the point of today's blog. And I'm off to put the laundry back in the basket and find that sandwich I put down somewhere at tea time.