Santa will be very happy with me

I negotiate with Dig to triplet-mind Shark, Squirrel and Tiger, while I travel to Hong Kong island to do the Christmas shopping.

Success!

That may have been the success of the day, it is true.

But I am never downhearted! My achievements can be yet dragged - kicking and screaming - from what merely appears to be abject misery and failure.

Here then are my achievements on the Christmas shopping front. I am in celebratory mood.

1. I attempt the ordeal in Wan Chai, hot-spot for prostitution and plumbing. I am trying to think of something like an achievement for that. Maybe it is that I was never mistaken for either a prostitute or a plumber in the entire afternoon.

2. I pass a lot of shops selling taps. I realise that you can get anything you want, tap-wise, in Hong Kong. Gold dolphins arising from shells? No problem. I become an expert on taps. (Not on prostitution.)

3. I recover my bearings after becoming hopelessly lost and wandering aimlessly in the wrong direction because I cannot read a map. It only takes an hour!

4. I never bumped into anyone (not counting the handbag incident), and I never had to walk with my fist stretched out in front of me aimed at face-height, like I do in Mong Kok.

5. I found the art supplies shop despite having scribbled over the address, and I was brave enough to enter the little door at street level, where the concierge ignored me.

6. I managed to get a lift going in the right direction. Better still, this time I did not end up on floor 35 for the karaoke bar, where I did not need to frantically press buttons in the manner of a total imbecile who cannot use a lift. At floor 15, a crowd of Chinese people did not get in, cramming in a space for 10, and forcing the lift back up to floor 35 before trying to take me hostage to sing Cantonese love-pop songs. (It is taking me some time to recover from that afternoon, actually.)

7. The art supplies shop was open.

8. I did not spend Dig's monthly wage on paper, paint, sparkly things, and glue.

9. I have acquired a lot of Chinglish schedulers (pointless but irresistible), and an assortment of pretty craft items that will prompt the children to fantastic craft (pointless but hopeful.)

10. I never told Dig that I found the exact same items $44,256 dollars cheaper and three shops down the road from the ferry pier. Neither did I mention that if I had just bought the stuff there I would have saved five hours of his child-minding time while I wandered blindly about Wan Chai becoming a tap expert and wondering if at any point I might be mistaken for a plumber or a hooker.

Success. I can barely wait for Christmas Day.