All bases covered

See, I said we would be unstoppable once I clutched that Friends to Historic Royal Palaces ticket between my scabby claws.

We take the Hampton Court Palace Gardens tour, led by a lovely lady who knew her laurel from her yew and her pelargoniums from her geraniums.

With a behind-the-scenes tour of the nursery.

I hope this is good research for Shark, Squirrel and Tiger. I have handed summer responsibility for the garden over to them (PSE/Citizenship).

The little grits are each to tend a shade patch and sun patch, and they must introduce a design into it over the summer (D&T). Shark is digging ponds (Marine biology), Squirrel is going to position reading seats for fairies (Lunacy), and Tiger is building a killer dinosaur zombie death zone with sound effects and lighting (Film studies).

Of course the idea that a Friends ticket would save us money never works. Nearly twenty quid was sucked out of my purse in the tea shop (Business studies).

 

But I forgave them. Hampton Court Maze outwitted us, of course, even with Shark's compass (Geography.)

Sadly, I suspect that we are stupid, rather than the maze is clever. We were looking for an exit that wasn't there. We used the logic of mazes to find our way out (Maths), but it took us several times of reaching the entrance before we realised that the entrance is also the exit. (And I thought those people leaving by the front were cheating. Duh.)

We sat in the wilderness too, with a picnic, while I read the appropriate extracts from Three Men in a Boat (Eng. Lit.)

And we spent some time touring the formal grounds, noting the symmetry (Geometry) and trying to resist the urge to steal the gilded gates (Art appreciation).

But I couldn't make Shark, Squirrel and Tiger visit the nudey ladies exhibition, even though we all watched the lovely Lucy Worsley present Harlots, Housewives and Heroines on the iplayer (History) and I had to explain dildo and bugger thanks to Radio 4's News quiz (Awkward).

But a lovely day out, leaving us geared up for a complete education soon to be had at the Tower of London.

Of course the other great thing about spending time with your secondary age girls in their education is that you get to steal their glitter plimsolls.