I can't waste time, let's sort it now

Busy watching this. The children are bored witless.

Questions, answers, procedural talk, discussion, more questions, waffle, waffle, waffle. It all takes so much time!

But this is what I must do, my children! Politics isn't all about teasing Ed Balls! I must stay with the undercurrents of power rolling and churning in our direction. I need to know about those statements No definition of suitable. No definition of efficient. The law is open to interpretation.

Which way will those words churn? Will they be cast aside because the implications are too great? Or will they be the quiet start of a hungry cry for changes in primary legislation?

Shark, Tiger and Squirrel are unimpressed. They say it's time to stop poring over tedious parliamentary committee meetings and take them to an Art lesson. Carol is doing shading with five pencils, and that's hard enough.

Okay. Time's up. Let's agree with Melissa. It would save a lot of energy and effort if we left nothing to interpretation. Let's say exactly what we mean, then I can go.

Chair: Hello! We're here today to earn a wage, show we're busy, and pretend we care. Home educators are as mad as a bag of badgers, but some of them want us to do stuff. Do we need to do anything?

Local Authority Body 1: Nail the bastards. I want a law I can point to. Then I can get the deviants back in school and the illiterate parents bang to rights.

Local Authority Body 2: I agree with her.

Local Authority Body 3: Me? What am I doing here? Why do you keep asking me these questions? Did I use the word 'register'? This is all so confusing and no-one gives me training!

MP: We're not paying for anything, matey.

The end.