The problem is, it's all ideal and no real

I read this week how home educators make it too damn easy! What with our Waltons generosities, we're simply offering ourselves up to be eaten in mockery; hair, teeth, toenails and all! Just look at our homely home-crafting ways, our photos of hand-baked bread, and our ridiculous child painted gift items!

I agree. Craft, cooking, museum trips and mucking around outdoors with sticks may be the texture of home ed life, but I am putting early 21st century pleasures on my to-do list: I must alert the little grits to sexting, trolling, persecuting a facebook weakling, watching humiliation TV, then how to do mindless vandalism and running amok with silly string (uhoh, they met that last one already).

Sadly, until then, I can only offer a bit more ammunition, because here is a day well spent by the happy home educating family. Wrapping up warm in scarves and gloves to walk the autumn woodlands, then returning to enjoy hot chocolate, after which Squirrel happily plays conkers with Tiger while Shark enjoys an hour of woodland-based crafts.

If it helps, I can also add that it was a day when the rat catcher - a man I find strangely off-putting and intensely fascinating all at the same time - arrived with yet another bag of poison bait, Squirrel went on the rampage in a conker-related frenzy, Shark knocked her entire home-made hot chocolate drink into my Woman of the Shires flower arranging box, Tiger had a furious scream over possession of a stretchy rubber rat, and I trapped my finger in the kitchen door hinge while hanging Shark's delightful autumn wreath. (Which fell down. Twice.)

From which I hope early 21st century society has a better range of material to take the piss properly.