Two beds

I've bought a bed. Two beds, to be precise. One on top of the other. It's one of those bunk beds that you can convert into single beds when you realise that stacking the children one on top of the other just isn't going to work.

I can see it all now. First Shark, who's destined for the top bunk, will torture Squirrel, who's underneath. From her height advantage, Shark will immediately discover the practical reasons why the Normans built motte and bailey castles. It won't be arrows but plastic lego bricks that will be weapons of choice from her defensive position. Squirrel, meanwhile, will attempt some undermining with a sharp stick before removing Shark's ladder. A bunk bed that we can separate into two beds seems a jolly good choice.

I had to pay for the beds, which has bruised my bank balance again. I've been cruising around the Freecycle list for ages to see if we can get a bunk bed at a cost of zero, since I am now utterly broke in what is the most expensive month of the year. Bunk beds do not come up that often on the Freecycle list. And when they do, there's always a Roger or a Stephanie who's got in before me and is just coming round to measure. I've written little pleading notes full of pathos and nothing's come of it all.

Then I tried the tip. Now our tip is lovely. It's not any old rancid pile of rubbish in a field. Not at all. There's a warehouse filled with lots of lovely things left by people who don't know about Freecycle. Last week I saw a wonderful 1950s vaulting horse in there, all polished wood and leather. I briefly considered it. The woman with the septic hand who runs the tip shop only wanted a tenner for it. But I thought about the space and that the children use the sofa anyway. With a sad glance of regret and missed opportunity I left it. But there were no bunk beds, which is what we need. More than a 1950s vaulting horse, actually.

So it had to be the Charity Shop Furniture Warehouse. And there was the bunk bed. The only bunk bed, so there wasn't a great deal of choice in the matter. But now it's our bunk bed, or two beds. We await delivery, and we'll continue the arguments about who's going to get in it.