Divorce? Never.

Dig is taking advantage of this Easter holiday to scrutinise his diary. I have to listen to 'Sweden is on, Spain is on, Canada is maybe, Portugal is off, South Africa is off, India is maybe...'

This goes on all day, relentlessly. Chuck a lead brick in a reservoir and watch Grit's spirits sink. She imagines Dig chatting till 3am in a low-lit Scandinavian hotel bar and then places herself, entering the front room at midnight on another lonely no-help day. In her mind is running 'Heathrow is on, cardiac arrest is on, sex is off, the chippy is on, someone to complain to is off, caravan holiday in Skegness is maybe...'

Then Dig says, 'And what about a summer au pair?'

Grit thinks she might pick up her leaden spirit dead on the ground and throw it fatally in his direction.