Gracefully accepted

7.30 The early rising alarm rings. Dig is grumbling and sighing, just like a real teacher at 7.30 in the morning.

8.00 I discover it is not the alarm. It is Big Bro, telephoning on my mobile, which I double up for alarm purposes. Big Bro complains later that every time he rang I cut him off. I say I thought it was the snooze.

8.30 Things are going bad for Grit. Apparently Squirrel is already up, had her Cheerios and is sitting in the schoolroom, ready. Dig reports that she says daddy-school-at-home is good because she gets to clean the board and the table.

9.00 Shark bursts into the office. With a stern finger raised and a reprimanding voice, she says 'daddy! We're waiting!' Tiger opens office door and shouts in, 'Which one of the three r's are we doing today?'

10.00 Rats. I am in trouble.




10.30 Underhand tactics are required. Quietly retreat into office and plot.

11.00 Dig is getting everyone ready to go to French. I get Squirrel alone for sixty seconds in the kitchen.

Grit (nonchalantly): Oh, what's that? Is it a picture?
Squirrel: It's my picture of a bat.
Grit: It would look very nice as a card. You could give that by way of apology. Will you give me the picture?
Squirrel: Not really. It's my bat.
Grit: Oh. Let's say we can exchange that picture for, um, chocolate cake.
Squirrel: Er...
Grit: We will make a big fat one and you can put extra Smarties on top.
Squirrel: Can I eat all the red ones?
Grit: Of course.
Squirrel: OK then.
Grit: I accept your apology, thank you. You can keep the picture. DIG! She apologised!

Perfect. Now Grit can go back to idle loafing ways with moral high ground publicly intact, and scoff chocolate cake. Meanwhile, the point will be made clearly to Dig that the children are evidently enjoying his teaching style while improving in leaps and bounds so it would be shame to stop this educational approach now. It does, after all, give Grit the opportunity to work in the office and earn the cash to pay the late filing penalty on the accounts.

After some dramatic postures and the threat of a big scream Dig has agreed. But only to the end of the week.

Grit is counting this as an all-round success. At least for the moment.