Saturday, 8 September 2007

New solutions

In the middle of relationship chaos I have a solution. We are all lacking in vitamins. I've been feeding Tiger multivits for the last week, tempting Squirrel with them, and covertly starting on Shark. And now I've started on myself. So today I've cleared out the shelves at the local Health Food shop of vitamin tablets like a zombie crazoid sucking out brains.

Because I'm sure micro nutrition is a part of our failings. The answer cannot be that we are dreadful parents who live a disorganised life full of chaos, fallen-off doorhandles and broken gates. It is because I do not have enough fish oil. As everyone knows, part-time vegans do not eat enough fish.

I can take the Vitamins E, C, and A and the relaxing aroma of lavender oil. It's when I get to the horrible oil-slick with malt, fish oil and B6. It sounded disgusting even when I bought it at £4.95 a jar. Now I get it home and actually read the instructions to consume a tablespoon a day of this vile-tasting muck I start actually questioning the feasibility of the micro-nutrition solution.

But not to be defeated I then go down to Tesco and buy a jar of Green and Blacks organic chocolate spread. This I mix with the malt, fish oil and B6, and spread it on toast.

OK. I declare the micro nutrition solution over.

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