No competition from the NHM

Chemistry afternoon chez Grit!

But I hear there is a big do at the Natural History Museum and the sub-branch at Tring. Real scientists are there! With stuff!

Damn. It is too late to cancel Grit's Chemistry afternoon. I have Peepah coming round and if I cancel, we will be lost. Even if, being in Peepah's company for Chemistry, it is like the blind leading the blind.*

So, Mich, this is what you missed.

Staring into water, while Peepah and Grit sadly shook their heads and wished it was gin.

Being thoughtful.
(We like to imagine. She spends most of her time gazing vacantly when I get out the Chemistry books.)

Card game. We changed the rules as we went along. No-one could do it anyway.

Going ooh and aah at Peepah's dolly chemistry set.

Piling up books so we look industrious and scholarly for the photographs.

Looking at something on a plate.
 

Aha! Squirrel redeems the day with a bag of filter papers and a felt tip!

Finally doing the Magic Tree grow-your-own-crystal kit bought at the charity shop in 2009 and left on the shelf in daddy's office ever since. The moment was right.


* Tiger says watching Grit & Peepah is WORSE, much WORSE, than watching a couple of blind people crash into walls, because the blind can count how many walls they have actually crashed into.

That Chemistry IGCSE?

I'd like to say, at this point, in early days, before the solution blows up in my face and ignites my eyebrows, that Chemistry IGCSE by post? It's all going brilliantly!

Of course it is not.

We have barely started, and you should hear the howling. You probably can, sitting quietly in Ullapool, sipping your Earl Grey, wondering vaguely, Why are the windows rattling? That is Tiger, voicing her consternation that I am now demanding from her the completion of Topic 2, Principles of Chemistry, with a Bit of Diffusion.

With all this hullabaloo, you would be forgiven, truly, for imagining how I had threatened eternal imprisonment unless she (and her sisters) solve all the riddles of the universe with this broken comb and that mouldy plum stone. And I want your assignment in writing; use your own blood.

Now, I am all one for going with the child-led flow, but I ain't going with the flow on this one. Going with the flow would mean lying down on the floor and giving up altogether. Writing three sentences and choosing from a column whether a couple of statements are true or false does not, in my mind, constitute hard work.

Thus, I have become Mean Mummy. I think you home educators should know this is possible; how even the hippy, free-thinking hair, autonomous-leaning Grit has a line at the front door, over which you do not cross en route to your next social engagement (many, this is home ed) unless I receive by next Monday, 4.40pm, Topic 2, Principles of Chemistry, with a Bit of Diffusion.

Writ in your own blood, or mine.

We nearly did it

We nearly finished composing the Periodic Table.





Would have done too, if we had enough biscuits.


And then someone kicked off the eating frenzy by nibbling on Iridium.

And I can see Chemistry in prep

Thanks to my fretting - how can a kid sit a GCSE exam when they've never stepped foot inside a school? - Victoriana popped into my mind.

Victoriana is one member of my extended family who adopts certain righteous standards of living. She thinks all children should go to school FULL STOP. Shut up. They should be forced, okay? What is wrong with you?

I am in the conflict-avoiding wing of the family. (True! It's true! Arguments find me! I don't go looking!)

But maybe you can imagine that me and Victoriana have had some issues about the school/home ed landscape. And maybe I should report my sense of relief that I no longer need to creep about when I'm visiting family in the house where she lives. Because she now anticipates the argument and drives off in a huff before we get there. Mostly so she doesn't have to be near my feral, knuckle-dragging, home ed kids. Or me, because I am 'rude, stupid, childish'. (Credit to the woman! She has my character nailed!)

Now Victoriana's thoughts on education are reasonably up to date, don't get me wrong. No longer should the early morning punishment regime of naked swimming in the cold water pool be given by the house master. Of course not! We move with the times! Caning was always going to be enough.

But in the flow of her argument it follows that kids need their minds controlled, their ambitions outlined, and their habits formed for the benefit of people who have to be near them. To achieve these ends, all kids, even home ed ones, must eventually attend a school where they can submit themselves to the proper GCSE exam regime.

Either that, or become prostitutes. This is the choice, and it is plain and simple.

This has formed a little of my thinking about future careers in prostitution. But as Shark says she quite likes the idea of first taking exams for English, History, Geography, Science, etc. etc., I feel duty-bound to consider the exam options in our own playful, non-conforming, home education way.

So now I'm actively looking for models of how to take GCSEs without ever needing to go to a school before exam day.

Yes, we can easily find like minds to play with.

Thank goodness someone's willing to lead some workshops.
And we should be able to find an age-appropriate syllabus
to guide us through some territory.

Having an adult or two around who've followed chemistry before
is always helpful. Parents are wise and wonderful people, aren't they?

And passionate people can think up ways to make ideas fun.
There's singalong too, helping out.

Videos, of course. And Khan Academy.

Plus our own inventive and practical home ed history of making bath bombs,
volcanoes, and unwise experiments involving oil down the toilet and citric acid
all over the bathroom floor.

Indeed, I bet we can do all these, and more,
yet still take in a great view on the way home from class.

So I can see routes ahead to exams without school, oh yes I can.

And it is not that I am engaged in any war with Victoriana, of course not!

It's just that I DON'T WANT HER TO WIN.