One minute you are explaining how radiators work and suggesting you build a scaled model of a central heating system, even though you do not know yourself and hope there is a book in the library. And just as you are trying to think through that process: to create order out of chaos: to logically order that junk of stuff in that mummy-mashed brain and do right educationally by your small dependent Squirrel, you find she is bored already, and has wandered off to stuff Sindy doll in the freezer in a cryogenics experiment. Then while you wonder whether to chase Squirrel and pin her down with copper piping and a ventilator fan, Tiger is slicing through your brain with a squealing hot knife of Sharksaysthecameraishers! Sharksaysthecameraishers! And if that is not enough, Shark appears clutching a broken camera and inquiring sweetly, Can we make cake?
Basically, the combination of me, triplets and autonomous education, in this house, all together, does not equate. No-one would get anything done. And I would have to revert to Plan A. Suicide.
So what do I do? I plot. I plan. I think ahead. I use diaries, think about maths days and work out how to get everyone interested in the functions of the liver. I do not mind being a strewer, a fat controller, a spy, a tracer of paths. Because to educate fully autonomously requires that huge well of emotional resilience, a steely, steady nerve, more resistance, inner peace and calm vision than I can ever possess.
Anyway, if I was in doubt, and for one moment believed I could do the autonomous walk in full and complete confidence, without medication or alcohol abuse, then let this moment disabuse me of that thought.
I have just picked this up from the floor.
Daer JackyI freely admit. I am planning right now how to introduce spelling games into Squirrel's world and make her think she is decorating a balloon.
I am in a ces. How are yuo. Plass com to me. I am at ces hper 2. Lot of love from feer. xxxx