Shut up with the missionary zeal

Let us sing it out loud, we EDUCATION CONVERTS!

For we happy brethren, we know already what others seek to find!

While the world worries, wondering on its way about the right way of learning, we know what it is to walk in the light of alternative educational choices!

And it must be my mission to share my testament of my truth with all non-believers - those nay sayers and truth-deniers - wherever I may find them, and wherever they cannot run quick enough.

And yea, I know this is a bit creepy for those who know of my past evil teachery ways, and it is downright terrifying for those unsuspecting members of the public who must meet me off my chains for the first time, but truly I have seen the light which I MUST SHARE AT ALL COSTS.

Here! Today! Another fortunate opportunity to convert the unbelievers!

For here is the happy group leader on the parks walk-and-talk, thinking she is merely put on earth to lead a group of elderly walkers on a four-hour history totter down the Grand Union Canal!

I observe, of course, that my children are the only children attending this walk-and-talk probably aimed at the over-70s, but this PROVES ME RIGHTEOUS somehow, and anyway makes me feel entirely justified in sidling up to her, and explaining our presence as the children being interested in these things because they are home educated!

After twenty minutes with Grit skipping along, happily narrating the life of eternal learning bliss, the group leader is striding a bit faster. I have legs that might be short but they can move quick. I can keep up with her easily!

Well of course it is not long before I ask, as if in all innocence, CAN YOU LET HOME EDUCATION INTO YOUR LIFE?

And when she starts walking a bit quicker, some people might say almost running, and certainly losing half the old folks along the tow-path, then be assured! I can match that pace! I can begin to explore her doubts with my certainties about how happy anyone can truly be when they have been led from the true path of learning by common schooling sins.

But I detect she is not quite convinced! What of socialisation? she cries. I volunteer to show her the sort of well-rounded, socialised children that can be brought up in this life of learning happiness!

I grab Tiger by the coat, and propel the daughter to the front.

SEE! SEE HERE! The living proof!

Tiger is merely scowling like she has not a friend in the world and doesn't bloody well want one either, and this proves what a perfect state we have achieved, because my daughter is FREE to express herself wholeheartedly and fully as a rounded human being, so I can have it all ways matey, which is another damn good reason to home educate, because you get used to arguing your way out of a minefield surrounded by the enemy.

But I am not finished yet. NO WAY. Even though the leader is running quite a bit now. I can keep up NO PROBLEM, and by the time I have finished outlining the GLORY that is home education I notice that strangely she wears an expression of total fatigue and we have returned to the car park over a full hour earlier than scheduled!

Which PROVES I AM RIGHT.

And what a lovely walk.