Off to the swamp

I have a headache. This is not one of those Oops! had a bit too much to drink last night in an attempt to escape reality type of headaches. Nor is it the type of headache that accompanies fever or vomiting or chills. It's not the type of headache that comes from having to be too nice for too long in social situations, where your cheek muscles might hurt and you wish everyone would just push off, go home or that you could creep away. No. I think this is one of those unhappiness headaches.

In Grit, unhappiness creeps out as the slow result of backward-evolutionary forces. First of all, some minor distress will occur, like being thwarted in my intentions for the day. That kick-starts it all. Then I'll be cross at myself for being so inflexible. I may even respond at this point with some grunting or puffing, which will stand in place of a reasoned argument, or a considered explanation of how I'm feeling. When I've become unhelpful and uncommunicative and probably slammed a few doors along the way, then I'll feel worse about my behaviour and will run through all of those bad, non-qualities that a grumpy Grit can display, such as pettiness, mean-mindedness and ungenerous self-pity, which will all bring on a good bit of self-loathing.

At this point I should take myself off somewhere so that I can sink into a swamp and properly feel like a protean human being who's missed their opportunity once again to become a decent person capable of showing good and decent values.

So that's what I'll do then.

And I'm taking my unhappy headache with me. It's mine and I've worked for it.