Sasha does a lot of standing about

Fifteen minutes after breakfast, Sasha's starting to get on my nerves.

Now I'm not very good at telling people what to do. In fact Grit is possibly the most rubbish manager in the entire world, with the exception of Dig, who doesn't like telling people what to do either. If Dig wants someone to do something he'll say nothing at all. He probably hopes they pick up his brainwaves.

Well, this is why we arranged it so that Ermintrude could do it. Canny eh? We overlapped Ermintrude and Sasha so that Ermintrude could lead Sasha around the house and tell her everything to do, while me and Dig could hide. Well Ermintrude has gone. And it's Sasha's turn to have a go at being an au pair.

But Sasha does a lot of standing about waiting to be told exactly what to do. And this is clearly a problem.

Dig's solution to the awkward after-breakfast silence is to clear off, sharpish. Thanks, Dig. So I have a go. First I use action. I do a bit of clearing up and washing up, and say things like 'Gosh! What a lot of things to do! I must remember to take the laundry out!' This has no effect at all on Sasha, who moves a few bowls around on the table. Then I say, 'I must remember to take Squirrel's socks upstairs!' and 'It won't be long before we're clearing the table of breakfast things and putting out some crayons and paper so that Tiger can draw a picture!'

Nothing happens, except that Sasha moves the cornflakes packet about a bit. I try another tactic. I stop doing the washing up, leaving a lot of it in the sink. I go to the laundry, and take that out instead, tucking Dig's wet trousers under one arm. I rather hope that Sasha will take over the washing up. Nope. Nothing's happening in that direction.

I reckon it's my very presence that's causing the problem, since that sometimes happens. So I push off to look for Squirrel's socks.

A decent time later, I'm back, laundry under one arm, a bundle of Squirrel socks in my hand, and there's Sasha, standing in the kitchen, not moving. The cornflakes are still on the table, so I stuff the socks into my mouth and pick up the packet with the free hand and put it away. With one hand free now, I'm clearing up the kitchen at speed. I think I might have a go at the washing up, just to make a point, but one-handed washing up is pretty difficult and I think this may be a point too far.

Sasha does nothing. As she watches me rush about the kitchen doing the clearing up, she must think this is how things are done round here, which they are, actually. But Sasha, I think, that's why you're here. To help. Now bloody well help before I put you back on the train to Heidleberg.

Fortunately, with Squirrel's socks in my mouth, I can't say it.