Saturday, 20 December 2008

The only place for Christmas presents

Really, I should prepare a travel plan. Like, if I don't return home by 6pm, I am dead.

But be happy. Because you will know I have died in ecstasy. I will have died and gone to a heaven made out of hand crafted paper with leaves and bits of twig. Cover me in sparkly sequins and scraps of pointless satin ribbon that you have to look at with a microscope to see, but when you do see them, they will be woven into exquisite and delicate floral effects, suitable for sticking on Invitation to our Wedding. What else you do with them, I do not know. But I love them. Glue them to my headstone and call my spirit immortal.

This destination of joy, this nirvana, is of course, Hobbycraft, and there is a branch near you. Hobbycraft is perfect for Christmas presents. Dump Christmas. It is perfect for presents, all resources, bright and sparkly things and every crafting joy.

Now I know there are some naysayers out there. The sort who go POOPOO Hobbycraft. Ridiculously expensive and FOR WHAT?

Well, you doubters, ye unbelievers, just don't go. Leave the aisles to me and my kind so that we may process up and down in rapt adoration, dribbling.

Because Hobbycraft is not just offering craft resources. Of course not. I can get some of that stuff anywhere, and at half the price. What they are whispering to me, the glorious reward they are proffering, in return for my ragged soul and all Dig's money, is hope.

Here, everything is possible. I can be not the incompetent fool covered in glue, with glitter stuck to my face, but the careful and delicate crafter, creating flawless designs that are not only perfectly conceived and executed, but which result in items of such beautiful delicacy, they arouse intense delight in the eyes of the beholder.

And to joy, there is no end. I look at my children with new eyes. No longer these feral beings roving around my once ordered home, setting about my upholstery with two litres of PVA and six litres of unwashable acrylic paint. Not here, not here at Hobbycraft. My image is of Squirrel, transformed. Suddenly able to absorb and understand the complex instructions on the latex rubber mouse moulding set. That's possible. She can also read the warning instructions about pouring plaster of paris down the bathroom sink, and all the ones about microwaves, water, staining paint and glue bonding.

And Tiger! She will be able to knit! Shark will speak fluent sugarcraft dolphin set! Dig will be an inspired and involved parent, enthusiastically wiring up doll's houses to illuminate perfectly reconstructed Georgian interiors!

It is all possible, because we are in Hobbycraft, where everything makes sense and we will never again produce stuff which looks like this:


Or this:
And this:


Thank you, Hobbycraft!

5 comments:

Ruth said...

I hate to be the one to ask but ... what exactly were those things meant to be? My 5 year old always tells me if I can't guess :-)

sharon said...

I'd join you in Hobbycraft any day Grit. My Best Beloved hates taking me to craft shops - can't think why, after all, you have to look at everything to get the best things don't you! Now I shop for illicit goodies on the internet and spend far too much but, oh, it is fun ;-)The last few days have seen me spend all of my 'pressie' money (and just a 'little' more but we won't tell will we?) and now I'm waiting for the parcels to arrive. I've tidied my craft room, put away the Christmas stuff and I'm ready for all the new toys!

Kitty said...

Hobbycraft - I'll be there with knobs on. I love it. And I don't find it overly expensive compared to some so-called 'craft shops'. One has to shop with a discerning eye (and purse) but there are bargains to be had! All my gifts this year sported Hobbycraft bows - bought in their pre-Christmas sale. They had sale yarn, sale felt and sale Christmassy fabric. Not that I'm cheap ;-)

I hope you and the girls, and Mr Dig have a wonderful 2009. It's been a joy to 'meet' you this year.

Take care. x

Grit said...

hi Ruth! they are ... sea slug, owl, grass. such is the creativity round here. actually hobbycraft don't do a kit called 'make your own sea slug' so i might not have seen the end to stuff like this.

sharon, i think it's about time you were blogging with pictures so we proper crafters can share ideas!

i agree, kitty! so long as we can watch for the bargains and are not sidetracked, the place works for me! and happy new year to you and all, too!

kellyi said...

I live about ten minutes from hobbycraft and can be found cruising the aisles when it has rained for more then two consecutive days and I have run out of other ideas to keep them entertained.

Also, you should try and locate a Range near you - this is another crafters haven and it is easy on the purse. They do bargain buckets of old stock - not meaning to brag (oh, ok then I will....) but I got a metre of linen for 50p and two balls of funky wool for 75p.

Happy New Year to the Grit and family!!