Sunday, 7 December 2008

Record! Plastic Christmas tree up in only seven hours

Shark: So. I suppose this room is not tidy enough for the Christmas tree. Is that what you are going to say?

Grit: Should I look under the bed?

Squirrel: No.

Grit: Let's say it's tidy enough for the Christmas tree. I will get it now. No smacking each other about with the branches this year or I will put it away for 24 hours.

Squirrel: In 24 hours the room will be messy again!

Grit: Exactly. Then we'll have to repeat all the torture.

Tiger: It's not fair. I haven't got a Christmas tree in my room.

Grit: If you tidy up your room, you can have a Christmas tree.

Squirrel: (Breathless with delight) LOOK!LOOK!LOOK!

Shark: Squirrel, you can have the pink and red ones. I want the green and blue ones. What do you want Tiger? You cannot have the yellow ones. Or the white ones. And you see that orange one? That's mine.

Tiger: It's not fair! Shark says the baubles are hers!

(Pause for bauble negotiation that make an Arab-Israeli peace settlement sound simple.)

Grit: Right. Here's the tree! Who wants to stick the branches in?

Tiger: I'm not putting the branches in. I'm not allowed a Christmas tree in my room.

Shark: I'm not doing that. Squirrel can do it.

Grit: We have been doing this now for four hours. Can we break for lunch and put the baubles on after food?

(Yum. Reheated pasta and boiled up tomato sauce from yesterday.)

Grit: OK! Let's get started again! But I've just got some work to do, so I'll leave you to finish putting everything up!

Grit: (Returning after two hours blogging and a traditional glass of putting-up-the-tree brandy.) Oh bloody hell. I see the dollies are in on the act.

And what is that leopard doing there. Can we have a tasteful tree this year? Like no cuddly toys. No plastic bags. No sandwich boxes. And no pieces of string, so get that off as well.

Shark: That's Tigers. I said it looked like doo doo.

Tiger: It's not fair! I'm never allowed a Christmas tree in my room! My sisters have everything!

Squirrel: Amethyst likes it there! Can we put fairy lights up his tail?

Grit: If he stays, he has to behave and no fairy lights round him. They will electrocute him or set him on fire and then we're in trouble. Is that penguin going on as well? I can't bear to watch. I shall come back in an hour to see the finished work. (Two glasses of brandy later.) Well done everyone! There are some lovely displays!

Tiger: I will never be allowed to have a Christmas tree in my room. Evereverever.

Grit: You can have a Christmas tree if you tidy up your room. Do you want to take a picture of this tree?

Lovely. Let's come back when it's dark and take a picture with the fairy lights.



OvaGirl said...

congrats! and the tree putting up brandy, excellent excellent...

Brad said...

Well done little gritlets. Mind the angel I think she's trying to escape.

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

I think it takes great courage to let children decorate a Christmas tree and to not interfere in the process. I never would have been able to do it. Even with numerous glasses of brandy. You're one heck of a brave woman.

Kitty said...

Hooray! It looks lovely. And well done to the girls for achieving it.


Elizabeth said...

Yeah! Don't you just love when you break your own records!

mamacrow said...

by the way, is the 'dating your posts' thing on your blog a bit haywire? cos it seems to be a week behind itself? or is it just me?

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

Yes, I always wonder about the dates on your posts too.

Michelle said...

ladies, you cannot rush a masterpiece ;-)

sharon said...

Christmas is such bloody hard work isn't it! I think the tree putting up brandy is an excellent idea too although given the weather here I may substitute a long cold G&T ;-)

Grit said...

thank you all for your lovely comments!

the date is correct, i am just posting two weeks late. i might try catching up today, and that will mess up everything.