You see? Grit is not alone. Not only her then, who stashes gigantic bees under her bonnet, each of which annoyingly zuzz zzuzz zuzzz away at her brain, until she is driven to thrash the recalcitrant little grits across stubborn fields in their reluctant pursuit of the elusive life force called an education.
Sometimes that propelling field walk energy is provided by Dig.
Dig saw a programme on TV. Probably in 2004 while lying sleepless and jetlagged at 3am on a hotel bed in Asia, while a satellite BBC station happened in front of his blinkless eyes, but seen it he has, and he is determined to find it.
The Howick hut. This fantastic bit of reconstructed archaeology is located close by a beach in coastal Northumberland, balanced at the edge of a cliff, by the side of a track, up from the path, and opposite a field that contains a pissed off bull. I recommend it.
Prising the gritlets out of bed this morning however, I detect some resistance. They whine how they need to recover, what with the enforced march around the shutupshop that is Lindisfarne.
Shark says she needs to construct a sandy dolphin. Squirrel says she want to dig a big hole. Tiger just makes a lot of noise which sounds like hhhmmmppphhhhaawwwwooooo.
Nonsense, we say. We have to do this. Daddy Dig has a bee the size of a bison kicking around in his head and we're not going home until it's placated.
So let's make the best of it. Tiger, shut up about the horse. You can sit on a horse tomorrow with the horse cousin. Now, let's turn this into a life lesson. All the better to be made while we zigzag over farm tracks, avoid bulls, scramble over cliff tops and get rained on. Be quiet about the dolphin. We promise tomorrow, OK? Now, shut up. Let us go and make words of wisdom while we tour the Howick hut and play at hunting antelope. No. You can do the beach later.
Listen, noisy gritlets. It is not what you do, that is important. It is how you respond to the challenges you face. Shut up. In fact, if an activity pulls together your brain, emotional soul, both legs, your heart, your hand-eye co-ordination, say all of your being, then that is a good activity, and one from which you can learn, and grow, and benefit! Embrace the new experience! Live it and learn through it! And will you shut up about the damn horse.
Anyway, once you begin the three-mile hike, we know you will participate fully, utterly, and become completely involved and absorbed. And Squirrel, stop going on and on and on about the bloody bull.
Now enough, already, with the back chat. Because when we meant the whole body experience, actually, we did not mean the mouth.
