Saturday, 18 September 2010

Crimes against noodles

Wanted: Prematurely decrepit middle-aged female last seen wearing black widow weeds and electric hair.

Crime: Noodle napping, noodle murder.

Photographed at the scene of the crime, these blameless innocent victims were heartlessly snatched from their expectation of a fulfilled life in the tender care of a proper chef with a hat and a bottle of fragrant soy sauce, and cruelly dumped in an overboiling pan of washing water, before being mangled, thrashed, and beaten senseless with a plastic ladle. These poor tender creatures were then tipped into a sink (hearsay evidence) before being served as a congealed lump to the unsuspecting public, aka Shark, Squirrel, and Tiger.

Protect your noodles.
Keep them safe indoors.

The miscreant remains at large, seeking fresh victims under the misguided assault called 'Hello children. Today we are going to experiment with Chinese cooking'.


sharon said...

Oooh yummy, cold congealed noodles. Bet you had to practise that dish a few times ;-) Or was it a ploy to persuade the girls to take over the cooking?

Sugarplum Kawaii said...

Maybe try boil-in-the-bag?

MadameSmokinGun said...

Mine eat them raw. Just as well as I refuse to put them in a pan and WAIT in the same room for water to boil - god!!! - my method is pouring just boiled kettle water into a noodle-filled bowl, covering with a plate, then walking away and forgeting all about them for a couple of hours. When I get questioned about what happened to lunch I lift the plate, deny all knowledge and suggest biscuits instead.

We could have our own TV series.