Locked in a dark room with a man about to die

Another disadvantage to home ed? You must give up your aspiration to swank about Hong Kong dribbling over Prada handbags, and instead do stuff you simply don't want to do.

Like sit in a dark room for 80 minutes watching a young man reminisce about his life until a shot rings out and he is executed.

Joy.

A dramatic presentation of Private Peaceful, if you didn't guess.


Oh, what a fun filled drama! Go on then, a questioning of war and a celebration of life, and no-one said home education was ever going to be easy.

Suitable for older readers. The five-year old had to be removed half-way through. Mama didn't do her research, did she?

Anyway, we had to attend this performance. Shark, Squirrel and Tiger decided it for themselves. They saw the poster and that was that. Michael Morpurgo is on the list of authors they'll be seen in public with.

Me, I prefer not. Not Morpurgo, not public, not drama, not books. It sounds a little severe, yes. But I have that problem. It is acute. I never now wear mascara when I am visiting the children's library.

But I am Grit, and so ever look on the bright side of any place I am led, no matter how dark and miserable.

I have thought of two great advantages to having your theatre attendances organised for you by the interests of children.*

Shark, Squirrel and Tiger are older readers. Older dramas based on older reading books are much more suited to my taste. They can now lead me to great adventures.

Unlike when they were aged four. When I had to sit in front of Noddy and hold myself back from my impulse to physical violence.

The second advantage is that children are wise. They observe the world, then tell me which drama they want to attend, and which they would like to avoid. See? Home educated children have ideas, speculate, and make their own choices.

In fact, they show much better discrimination and judgement than me.

Pre-children, I was much more easily led than I am now. (Surprising I didn't come with wheels.) I thought any theatrical experience was a good one if it came with a young man in the seat next to me with whom I could rub knees. Which is how I found myself in a total judgement-fail drama experience. Two hours monologue (without interval) with a man justifying why he had to eat people in the Andes.

At least Tommo has a mercifully quick death, so afterwards we can all run gratefully out into the bright sunlight and hunt down an after show ice cream.

* Do not suggest buying seats in the theatre only for the kids, and not for me. I tried that. They wanted me to see it, so we could talk about it. See what I have done? Learn from me how we are each responsible for our own pain.