Friday, 17 February 2012

Fun with adenosine triphosphate

Squirrel, Shark, and Tiger are following Ellen McHenry's course, Cells.

I recommend it.

Specifically, I recommend someone else's mother leading Ellen McHenry's course, Cells.

I recommend someone else's mother also organising my kids on the chapters, running the weekly meetup, setting out the games, jigging the brood along, playing the videos, and shouting Twist the ATP synthase! While I drink tea and eat biscuits.

Basically, with Cells, someone else's mother is a lot more fun.

Yes, of course I would like to prove how I am capable of leading Cells with my own children. The truth is, I can't.

I would give up after two weeks. The words are hard. I would never find the sellotape to stick the board game together. The kids would ignore me because I would fail to understand some crucial point. Then I would lose interest and speak gibberish. I would try and disguise my yawning lack of enthusiasm by coming over all pompous and teachery. Squirrel, fuelled by anger and resentment, would mount a rebellion, offering dolly clothes for her supporters. Eventually I would be knocked out by the combined forces of my own failure and ennui, before concluding that me sitting alone in my room in shame is a better activity for everyone.

Worse would happen. I would hide Cells in a cupboard. I would tell myself it was a mouse nest. Then I couldn't ever disturb it! I might see baby mice! I wouldn't haven't the heart to kill them. The only solution is never open the cupboard door again.

What is the alternative? Open the cupboard door to see a curling course on cells? The one I abandoned after week 2? No! This would reveal my failure! Guilt would gnaw at my soul. Cells would have been a great course. If only I had run it. Squirrel could have been a top scientist in cell research. If only I could have been bothered. Dig paid for it. See how I squandered his cash. I could have spent it on a handbag. And there were no mice.

But I recommend Cells. It is a great course of games, play, videos and fun. Just make sure it comes with your friendly local home ed group, a great bunch of kids, and someone else's mum to stick the ATP synthase machine together.

Thanks, Chris!


Nora said...

I'm so glad for you Grit, that you know yourself so well and that there is another mother willing to do the work. I wouldn't have been able to do it either. As a matter of fact, I would have sent them back to school by now, probably, or have gotten them a tutor, mora likely. Yes, I would have been willing to sell my body to cover the costs. I'm shameful.

MadameSmokinGun said...

Other people's mothers are the saviours of Home Ed. I am merely the lowest point of badness against which all other Home Ed mothers can measure themsleves to be way superior. I provide unlimited value in this service.

MadameSmokinGun said...

See? I can't even spell 'themselves' properly. I'm so damned good at my job.

suzywoozy said...

Thanks to you Grits I have looked at this and the elements course but I have failed to find somebody else's mother to run them so some how I seem to be organising two HE sessions on the periodic table. There will be screaming and shouting at home while I try and find the selotape and look for an online pronunciation guide and then there may or may not be a magical transformation into a competent looking person in front of all the other children and parents!

Helen of SJ said...

My sentiments, exactly! It's a great course, but I'd definitely skip all the activities if I were running it--not because they are not wonderful activities, but because I am incapable of preparing even a fraction of the setup that is required.