Friday, 7 August 2009

Even home educators take their kids to the dentist

I could let their teeth go yellow, black, rot and drop out of their heads, but I decided that the better vengeance for all their irritating little ways, like street brawls in public places, was to subject Shark, Squirrel and Tiger to the dental chair once every six months.

Quite frankly, there have been times in the past when I have looked forward to the hour when I process Shark, Squirrel and Tiger in solemn contemplation along Rosamund Street to the impending doom that is the local dentist.

One interpretation for my quiet moment of joy about this could be that I am a total bitch who likes to inflict pain on her own children.

But it is better than that. Because by taking this lot to the dentist I seize the moral parental high ground. By this very act I justify my daily whining and complaining about teeth while someone else is actually doing the evils. I can sit there in that dental room looking smug about the endless lectures I have delivered everyday about the perils of NOT BRUSHING YOUR TEETH while Dr Fang is poking about in their faces with a sharp object on a stick.

And not once do I say I TOLD YOU SO which in my book just shows what a superb parent I am and possibly how generously moral am I.

Secretly, I remain grateful that neither Shark, Squirrel nor Tiger have thought so far ahead that they have put in a bid for counter revenge.

Humiliation of me would be easy, of course, if only they could plan it. They could recline deep in that chair of doom and, as they are sinking down to that moment of terrible face poking, shout out in terror at that lowering dentist their best and worst expression of all: ohmygodbloodyhelldamnpissoff!

5 comments:

Rubberbacon said...

Ug, I hate going to the dentist so I think I will militant with my children on teeth care so as to reduce the dentist visits. Laugh if you will, mine still has no teeth so I don't have much experience of imposing my will.

Annkrozeika said...

I love your girls' best & worst expression! Cracked me up! :)

I too have got to take mine to the dentist-from-hell, who really is a lovely kind woman...but to my daughter she is a wicked evil nasty witch.

Michelle said...

You are such a soft touch. I have already subjected C to the horrors of tooth extraction, fixed braces and the orthodontist. The orthodontist was really nice actually, which was a relief as she will definitely need work in the future.

One of C's disappointments was not being able to be with me at the dentist and hygienist yesterday. She says she likes watching me get my teeth scraped. Charmer isn't she?

The Green Stone Woman said...

You are a good Mum and take care of your children's teeth well. All that nagging has a good purpose, so don't feel bad. My mother never bothered and I payed the price. On top of that, we had a horrible dentist, so it was doubly hard.

Grit said...

hello people, i can give it out but cannot take it. last time it was my turn in the dental chair i was sent out in disgrace after writhing about and making hggffhfggghfgfhgh noises.