Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Sometimes Dig speaks a lot of sense

I need to sort this problem.

This weekend it's Squirrel's turn to throw herself about on a cliff side and I must transport her there, and bring her home again.

That's not the problem.

The problem is, I would like to stay overnight somewhere en route so that we experience the fantastic countryside that is England.

When Dig is here, and we move around the country depositing children, Dig needs a shower, clean sheets, a flushing toilet, lights that turn on at a light switch, and walls. By those facts, we overnight in a Travelodge. We do not stay in a tent.

But Dig is not here.

And we have a tent.

At this point, it is Michelle's fault.

She put the idea in my head because she has a tent. And she has fun in her tent. You need only to read her blog to realise she has fun in that tent. And it is the sort of fun that I would like. I want fun in a tent. Like Michelle.

But we have a tent.

And Dig is not here.

Solution. Take the tent and the children and go and put up that tent in a field and overnight there, and then we are free to do what we want and go where we please and it will be like Mr Polly all over again except this time the drama will be played out with a happy Grit and her charming children skipping in the countryside.

Problem. I do not know how to put up the ruddy tent. It is like no tent I have seen in my life. I cannot find the instructions. I would carry it up to the field and have a go there but it is throwing it down with rain.

Solution. Try and work out how to put up the tent from first principles IN THE BEDROOM.*

* Do NOT try this at home. Putting up a tent in a bedroom is a totally stupid idea. It does not work. It has no chance of working. The tent will lie in a crumpled up heap all over the floor while you cry.

Update: I have not booked a Travelodge. No. I am made of stronger stuff than to give in.

I have booked a room at a Premier Inn instead.


The Green Stone Woman said...

That's very smart of you. Hurray!

Rebel Mother said...

Totally agree - tents out and hotels in.

Great post Grit - you do make me chuckle!


Jax said...

what kind of tent is it? Could you find the instructions on the manufacturer's site via google perhaps?

I have not done nearly as much overnight camping as I planned, but right at the moment the little overnight tent is in Reading. We are in East Anglia. It is not a good combination for camping.

HelenHaricot said...

giggle. love that michelle is tempting ppl to camp! next year you can camp for festival of history weekend... michelle bailed out mind you.

Minnie said...

You are one clever cookie:o)

I don't do tents now. In a past life I went camping with then boyfriend. B/f was a hardy little soul who would often tootle off with tent and napsack on his back.

He took me to the Yorkshire Dales...in winter!!...This was ok, because we could figure out ways to keep warm:o).... but it was the 'go behind a bush (with toilet roll if you are a wuss)... and'flush' with a spade' facilities that scarred me for life!!

Michelle said...

Helen Haricot I did not bail out as I was never going to camp there in the first place. I can't bail out if I was never in!!!!!!!!

I don't like sleeping in places where strangers have slept. Especially putting my head on a pillow someone else has dribbled on. My tent is far more comfortable :-). No bugs or mites at all.


Rubberbacon said...

You almost had me, I was already anticipating a cold damp night in your near future!

sharon said...

Went camping whilst a Girl Guide, tolerated rather than enjoyed it. Went camping with husband and friends when in early twenties and child-free, fun, except for the stumbling around looking for the toilet block in the dark whilst three sheets to the wind. Went camping once with son aged 3, never again!!! All holidays since taken with at least caravan walls around us and our own toilet and shower facilities. But good luck with the tent if you do get round to using it. Have you asked Shark how to put it up? I bet she could work it out with her eyes closed ;-)

Elizabeth said...

Oh Grit--you've almost made me re-think our new tent!! I have almost talked myself into believing that camping is going to be the best way to holiday--but only if the sun ever shows itself again for more than an hour or so!

Grit said...

hi folks! thank you for your comments. if the british summer had been long, hot and dry, i might be feeling totally different about things.

but despite all, you haven't heard the last of the damn tent.

Maire said...

Michelle's tent is something else, I thought ours was big! There are lots of extremely cheap dome type or pop up tents out there these days, i would go for one of those. Camping is great, even in the rain, who doesn't remember rain on a tent as a theme of their childhood.

Grit said...

michelle's tent is uber posh. she is definitely the manor born of campers.

HelenHaricot said...

giggle @michelle. i hope you are in next year - ask nic re upgraded facilities. and it isn't as if m did anything other than watch the tour de france!

Marcus said...

@HelenHaricot You say that as if watching the Tour de France wasn't important!?

Marcus said...

@HelenHaricot You say that as if watching the Tour de France wasn't important!?