Friday, 20 November 2009

Here's one mother who couldn't care less

You see? This is the cavalier approach I take to safeguarding my children.

Here's Squirrel, handling DANGEROUS TOOLS.

And this took place in a totally NON-REGISTERED environment.

Now guess what? We filled in no forms for any type of RISK ASSESSMENT.

That's how little I care.

Better still, this dangerous and alarming environment is the workshop of a local woodcarver and he works with SHARP CARVING TOOLS. At any moment, any one of those tools could KILL YOU or GOUGE OUT YOUR EYE.

You would think that was bad enough, wouldn't you? But this shows how far Grit has gone, because she cannot give a gnat's piss whether the oldcurledupwoodcarver - who is probably made of oak himself - she could not care less whether he has been entered on the VETTING AND BARRING DATABASE.

And WORSE. He is not even a registered and licenced teacher! NO! GET THAT! He is a WOODCARVER. TEACHING WOODCARVING.

I can hear the OFSTED inspectors tut tutting now.

Grit should have done this lesson on woodcarving PROPERLY. According to the government. Like, NOT AT ALL. Who approved this type of thing in the National Curriculum? Really, she should have BANNED the activity altogether.

But you know she's bloody-minded. The very least she should have done was hire a biology teacher with fuck all experience and interest to cover the lesson in a proper CCTV controlled classroom while Squirrel and 30 other kids watched a video about woodcarving and answered the questions on whether wood comes from a tree or a motorway.

Then, just as you thought it was as bad as it could be! Not only do I encourage my kids to enter dangerous environments, wield banned tools, and interact with people who are not rubberstampedgovernmentapproved, MICHELLE IS HERE TAKING PHOTOS.

And you know what that means.


And what is Grit's attitude?

Pah! Kiss my arse! IGNORE THE LAW

With that sort of attitude, you'd almost expect the government to try and close all home education down.


Heather said...

lol. feeling a bit pissy today, are we?

being taught things by people that actualy know what they're talking about...nah, it'll never catch on.

funkyhan said...

snarky snarky... LOVE IT :)

Crazy isn't it... the world has gone mad with H&S... and being taught by someone who actually has practical knowledge and experience... shocking!

Loving your blog, thanks for sharing your wonderful (although sometimes difficult I expect) life with us :D

sunnymama said...

Fantastic! :)

The Green Stone Woman said...

It's an odd world isn't it? I mean in the old days, your kids might have actually been apprentices of this old woodcarver and learned a real trade. How in the world are they going to learn it now? I think a lot of knowledge gets lost by watching videos in the classroom with 30 other not very interested students and a bored teacher.

Rachel M. said...

Well they haven't lost a digit yet between the 3 of them!

Tech said...

love it!

Polly said...

Shocking! You mean to say you actually allowed your children to have some actual experience of woodcarving! From an expert! What are you thinking of? If you aren't careful they'll get to be competent and there's no telling what that'll lead to...

Helen Armfield said...


Fancy sharing who they are? I've got a small boy who likes sharp things...

Grit said...

hi folks, thank you for your comments.

i am on campaign to cheer myself up and remind myself what is right, before i plunge back into the land of despair again.

Helen, check out Thursday 12th February 2009.

Anonymous said...

I hope you didn't forget to sterilize everything and put little black oblongs over everyone's eyes before you posted this. LOL!

Dawny said...

*grin* :-)