Sunday, 1 November 2009

Is this red carpet day?

Thanks to the Sunday Times, Grit dons her posh frock today, and stands blubbing on the stairs, shedding salt tears and dribbling snotty slime on the carpet, which just happens to be red.

Between blubbing and wiping her nose on her arm, Grit fulsomely thanks everyone she has ever known for this brief second of notstardom; this day which sees her occupy the same magazine as Russell Brand and an advert which asks me if I am dripping with sweat.

Gritty thanks might start with the little grits and the Mother Ghost and, after five hours with rivers of weeping, could get down to the one-eyed neighbour with the dodgy leg and the woman with red face and bleached hair who came round to poison the kitchen rat.

Really, they all need thanks. And I bet they would love those thanks to come from a woman who routinely humiliates herself in public. But thanks must be said. All these people are in Grit's world, and without them and the rich lives they lead, I would be a lesser human being. They jolly me up something royal when I am beyond despair and they tell me there are worse things to do with my life than this.

Like rat catching. That is surely a job so repulsive I am grateful my job is to gad about England amusing myself historically, pretending to home educate triplets, and pausing only occasionally to rant at Ed Balls. I might thank him too. Or perhaps not.

But there are so many of you who need a big smackeroo. And I promise I do not drip sweat and have not cut out that advert which promises a solution for only £299.

Thank you especially to those who return almost daily to be bludgeoned to death by gritsday. You know who you are. The reader in Southampton who will not give in; the dutiful person in Bath; the person looking for the pigeon; the people in Cambridge who dread me visiting that fine city once more; the upstanding readers who google for bali men naked and my newest reader, hopefully searching what to do with old grit.

And finally, there are blogfolk out there who have a special place in my blogheart for their good bloggy deeds and their infinite patience, and that is Belgian Waffle, Potty Mummy and Michelle.

Go and say hello to them, because now I have to take off my frock, and mop up the floor.

10 comments:

Here I Am, This is Me said...

Lovely speech!

Here I Am, This is Me said...

oops - I've just realised I've commented from my daughter's blog rather than from Ellie's Treasures, but I'm sure she'd feel the same!

mamacrow said...

WHOOOOO WHOOOO WHOOOO!
ENCORE! BRAVO! :::MASS APPLAUSE::::
:D
Thought the piece was great but could have done with being a heck a of a lot Grittier :D

sharon said...

Such a shame none of the pictures made it onto the online version of the Times. But still, the article was very good and you deserve all the plaudits that come your way Grit! Well done indeed!

Now get back to that scrubbing lol!

zooarchaeologist said...

Meant to comment, saw the article thought it was great. Well done and lovely picture of the girls. Hopefully it will lead onto more home educating stuff xx

Sam said...

Standing ovation, especially for the snot :-)

kellyi said...

I can remember coming across your blog when I was contemplating HE, and reading about you standing in a park with three screaming girls.

My first thought was "Good God, no."

But weirdly, I kept coming back and reading, and now I am home educating, it is like a daily crumb of comfort.

Thank you for blogging :)

(And the article was good but as mamacrow said needed more Grit!)

Muntgirl said...

Hello I'm a newbie because of the ST article. Was up till 1am Tuesday night reading your past blogs. Would like to home educate so am scrutinising the highs and lows via you!! Just have to persuade the husb . . .

Grit said...

hi folks! thank you for your support! but let me applaud you all too, because sometimes i could not do this without knowing there is a strong and supportive community out there, ready to share wisdoms, ideas, and joys!

hi Muntgirl! a special hello, because reading here must've taken some guts. Home education is a fantastic choice. It's a crap choice at times. But it shocks me that we're still doing it, so the highs must be outweighing the lows...

Maire said...

Delighted to read that your blog was in the Sunday Times, there is some justice in the world.

I would also love to see pics, any chance of blogging them?