Thursday, 17 June 2010

Hi Ofsted! I drugged my kids and dumped them in a field!

Fetch Christine, quick! After drugging my kids with a vege sausage sandwich and KETCHUP, I willingly sacrificed their frail and tender bodies to the evil forces of untamed nature! I am depraved! Save me from myself and take away from me my foul home educating ways!

For here is EVIDENCE. A bunch of abusing home educators, TORTURING these poor and innocent kids with butterfly nets, pots and lids. (And an expert in beetles called Amanda.)

Look how we seek to scare these kids to DEATH as we let them loose among the potentially hazardous GRASS, where all the fouls and fetids of the grass might dwell.

Shameless! We then force our innocents to squat upon the ground to receive the terrible words and commands that drip from our horrible tongues.

See me WEEP.

But first, before you come round to our field, get yourself some education on statutory duty.

(And as for the Chauliognathus lugubris, the little bastard's around here somewhere.)


Big mamma frog said...

Er excuse me. Do I detect your children having unregulated enjoyment and outside-of-the-curriculum pleasure?

I think we need to legislate against that then.

I observe that they may also be suffering from fresh air inhalation.

Better get them checked at the doctors. You never know what damage might have been done, you irresponsible parent, you.

kellyi said...

I saw this quote on the TES forum and thought of you (the author is from another country):

"The idea that someone else would have the right to demand to look at my planning, much less tell me how to do it, would have been treated as absurd by any teacher here. Why don’t the teachers of England stand up for themselves?

If you take out the word Teacher and put in Parents, people would be outraged.

sharon said...

Really you only do this HE thing so that you can cavort around in fields ;-)

Grit said...

you are right big mamma, this is unregulated use of fresh air. their eyeballs and brains had to get some exercise as well, so ofsted better put that down on their criminal home ed list.

i agree, kelly. one of the many reasons i left the teaching profession was that i no longer felt able to show any classroom initiative. well, initiative was followed by a brown envelope in my pigeonhole reminding me of various pointless prohibitions.

rats, sharon, you have sussed me out!