Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Who says home educators can't teach everything?

Little gritlets, we leave in two hours for your French lesson. Afterwards I drop you, Shark, at the sailing club and Tiger, I take you to the stables.

Nonsense, Squirrel. There is plenty for you to do.

Do you want to go to the library with me (English), walk over the field looking for bugs (Science), go to the playground (PE), or nip to the Co-op (Geography).

Or are you just going to sit there twanging rubber bands around the room (Physics).

Maybe, Squirrel, you should now stop arguing with Shark (Rhetoric). Go and crash around on the old joanna (Music). No, your sisters can't play with you. They're busy. Rely on your inner resources (Religious Studies). In the absence of those, you could play that game about beating up eels on the computer (Maths, Marine Biology, ICT) or watch TV (Media studies). Howabout that programme about earthquakes (Geology).

No? Then maybe you could just stop irritating everyone (Citizenship) and help me scrape off the cereal you've spot-welded to the kitchen table (Design and Technology, Chemistry). And leave Tiger alone with the toilet rolls. She is doing a spot of Materials Science and if you take the glue gun off her now she'll go berserk (Psychology).

Stop answering back (Law). Do as you're told (Democracy). Now if you don't stop messing about I shall give you three warnings and ground you (History).

Excellent. I knew you would see things my way (Politics). And thank you for quietly getting on with something.

Even if it is burying unicorns in the garden (Horticulture, Classics, Anarchy).


Big mamma frog said...

Aww I lurvve that, that is so cool. (and yeah I know 'cool' isn't a 'cool' word anymore, but I was born at the end of the 60s).

Can I borrow it - er, I mean pinch it?

I need THINGIES for an online HE magazine that I'm supposed to be editing. Pretty purlease?

Otherwise I'm going to have to insist on hiring you for a regular column.

Grit said...

hi big mamma, send me your email address! wicked. (is that still in?)

Big mamma frog said...

Have done.

I have no idea if 'wicked' is in, out or shake it all about. Personally I prefer 'cool' cos you can put 'really' in front of it and it sounds, well, really cool.

Kestrel said...

If you hire her for a regular column, I'll become a subscriber! This is the best post I've read all evening. I need my mental microscope and do exactly the same with my children. Just for the fun of it.