Wednesday, 18 January 2012


I see Adrian Mole is in the news this week.

That reminded me. Locked away at home in a place we never look is a sealed box. It contains diaries. They're stowed away, safe from prying eyes of partner and children.

Sadly, they're not even mine. The box was dropped off, late at night, by a travelling friend. I'm under strict instructions never to peek. I took an oath. And I won't break it, I promise.

But I wondered, where would I squirrel away secret thoughts or confessions, away from the closest friends, or even from Planet Internet?

Friends have their limits of patience, and t'Internet is okay for shameful parenting and guilty late-night forums sneaking under the name Anonymous. But those are still rather practical places. People might try and help, and offer solutions. That's the last type of reaction I want.

A special book to capture a few of life's irresolvable dilemmas and a couple of enjoyable confessions would be ideal.

So I pretended I was aged fourteen again. I wanted a secret book. I hard-bound, stitched and glued a book in beige suede, and I didn't decorate it, not one bit.

I thought, I'll write some loves, lacks, desires and terrors, sealed inside the secret compartments, then I'll slip this unobtrusive volume quietly on the dustiest bookshelf back at home. It can sit, undisturbed by casually wandering fingers, between Sweet's Anglo Saxon Primer and An Introduction to Systemic Functional Linguistics.

In years ahead, when my daughters are packing up their mother's books to donate them all to charity shops, and they discover this unmarked volume, then it would be worth my time, hanging around as a ghostly mist, just to watch the expressions on their faces.

Where would you keep your most secret thoughts? (I promise not to go looking.)


Nora said...

That looks like a perfect little spot to write down your inner most secret thoughts. Too bad it doesn't have a lock and key on it. You never know who you can trust.

Grit said...

yes, i wondered about that nora, but a lock and a key sort of tells the viewer there's something inside worth locking up; well maybe that invites inquiry. maybe a real secrets book should act like there's no secret at all?

Nora said...

That's possible. I see you have this well thought out. You may not want to leave it lying around casually, though. Inquiring minds may want to know.