Wednesday, 3 September 2008

The Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board does a very good thing

Sing out for the Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board!

Just eye-ball this sand!

Not only is that silky sand butt free, this beach has lifeguards! Not that the Gritlets need them today, because thanks to the fine efforts of the Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board, on this beach there are no dogs.

NO DOGS! No dogs at all in these magical summer months when the little Gritlets rush to build Norman motte and bailey sandcastles with ditched earthworks! Did you know the Gritlets are terrified of dogs? We would chuck ourselves into the North Sea if, from fifty metres away, we witness some fat pampered mutt padding along the pavement sniffing piss. This sight, if you are Shark, Squirrel and Tiger, is terrifying. In fact it is so terrifying that death by herring is preferable. And the ultimate dog horror? Being licked. Squirrel has confided this in me, and I am blabbing it to planet Internet. A dog might lick her leg. And to avoid that she would throw herself off a pier and need a lifeguard.

But that disaster is averted today thanks to the wise and great offices of the Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board!

Yet clean beaches are not the only thing they tell me about! Did I mention the wall? Not any old wall, but a medieval wall which is one of the most complete in England.

This wall dates from the late 1300s. Eleven of the sixteen watchtowers along the wall still survive, which is pretty impressive by anyone's book. Grit has to slobber against that wall because, as you know, history is her thing, and walls are special in this girl's world. Thank you Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board for giving me information about your wall.

Then there are the Row houses.

I'd like to give a big hug to those fellas that saved these beauties from demolition. One house has a ceiling dating from 1600s. But despite the fancy plastering and warm timber paneling there is no bathroom. Well it must have got way too smelly. The rich folks slowly moved out and left the houses to be subdivided by poor folk. We work out that at one time there were 15 people living in three rooms, so they would need to like crowds. But this is history come alive at the stroke of those lovely timbers. And guess what? Free lollipops! Free lollipops for completing the trail that is so easy we could do that with our eyes shut! Except, Squirrel, we'd fall downstairs, so don't take that literally. You see how everything in Great Yarmouth is so accessible? Well done Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board!

If this were not enough, there is the Hippodrome, which us outgoing home educators visit in the evening. Well this is a fantastic building, even though appalling town planning leaves it fronted by an amusement arcade. The Hippodrome, according to The Theatres Trust, is A building of outstanding importance. There are only two purpose-built permanent circuses in Britain still in full working order and probably only four or five operational pre-1950 circuses in the world. And here's one in Great Yarmouth! Howabout that! And not only that, this amazing building has a circus ring that converts into a swimming pool! And thank you Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board for bringing this wonderful building to our attention!

But this is not all we can fit into a day. We spend several hours in the Time and Tide Museum, which is so good we are slipping back disguised as simple fisherfolk to see if we can live here for the week. Then we could listen to every audio, watch every video, and read every panel of information about how herring were strung up and smoked here and sent off in crates to mostly everywhere, and especially Italy.

After this lot, the hell that is Pontins can be forgot! A splendid, educational day out! Thank you Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board!

Of course this shameless promotion of Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board has nothing to do with the fact that Squirrel and Shark are collared during the tour of the museum for promotional tourist shots. Strangely I become ridiculously proud of little Squirrel for being so good with the photographer and not once kicking his shins or making smart lippy comments. She may indeed possibly become the next icon for the Greater Yarmouth Tourist Board, with her amazing ability to look both wise and cute, albeit a little inflated about the cheek area.

The Gritlets are now available for chip promotional work.
Obviously in exchange for free chips.


Emma said...

Well done you! We sat for ages in the car park (in the rain) looking at that wall wondering how long it had been there.

Emma said...

Well done you! We sat for ages in the car park (in the rain) looking at that wall wondering how long it had been there.

Emma said...


sharon said...

Wonderful. Surely that helped to compensate for all the crap at the Pontin's Slum.