Tuesday, 26 January 2010

It comes down to two reasons.

There's a debate. I'm not sure where I stand. Do I care? Maybe my mind's made up.

It's this blogging business. Again. Like, these mummy bloggers. Do I count? Not sure. Some say we're lonely. And, er, what was it again? er, seeking validation. Emotionally needy, erm... should I believe that?

Maybe someone can make money. They try. Blogs take ads. The whole bloggy business can turn into a business. Then it's definitely competitive. Is it? Places on PR lists definitely matter. Would that change the blog? Should it?

These debates in blogland lead me all ways. Back I come to reflect on what this blog is for. I feel I need to patrol the bounds. Wee in the corners. Conclude that I don't want to rebuild this place anytime soon. No ads. Stamp over this patch. My ground. Press in some words that no one may read.

Because I have two reasons. I'll remind myself, for when I'm led away down those future debates.

One, this site shows anyone who travels by that it is possible to home educate, and not die.

If you think it is right to do by your child, and you feel able, then do it. What is the worst that can happen?

Admittedly, from this point of view, I try not to pull punches. Some days I occupy a prison cell while a surly guard blocks the doorway dressed as a princess goth threatening to clobber me with a unicorn. My whole life reduces to outwitting that scowl. And I may not succeed. Days pass too, dragging a leaden spirit, a dying heart and a failing brain. In the midst of despair, someone who claims they are a horse will burst into inconsolable weeping because they never received the 200 white mice.

Those are nothing compared to the collapsing days. When even meagre ambition turns bellyup.

But surely these problems are normal in life. Aren't they? I can chronicle them, and discount them. Worst times do not mean my home educated offspring will end their days sprawling on streets as homeless vagrants selling themselves for drugs. (OK, I admit I'm trusting: I may get back to you.)

I want this blog to say that despite the blood, sweat, pain, trauma, and mice, a home educating lifestyle can work. It creates a different set of priorities. It creates a different way of thinking. Shows different ways to live. Like, competing in national tests takes a low priority: thinking through a human relationship with a sister who just broke the law by stealing that pencil takes high priority. Afterwards, we may talk Socrates.

Through it all, I hope you can see that home ed children are thriving, happy, involved, creative, social.

Dare I admit, some days I even have fun in this anarchic, chaotic, selfish, taunt the devil lifestyle. Thrilling freedom is here. Choice, aspiration, autonomy, independence.

The second reason why this blog exists is just that I get a lot of pleasure from it. I don't care if that sounds corny. It's a very personal truth and I don't mind admitting it in public.

At least that one's simple.


Sam said...

"...it is possible to home educate, and not die." - LOL!

I'm glad you enjoy writing your blog, because I certainly enjoy reading it. :-)

Kelly said...

Grit is the best.

sharon said...

Selfishly I don't really care WHY you write your blog - just as long as you continue to do so! In no particular order your blog informs, amuses, terrifies, depresses, exhilarates and enthralls your readers and, damn it, we care about you and your family so keep those random posts a-coming Grit . . . whatever your reasons may be.

MadameSmokinGun said...

Love you babe!

But wee in your own corners. Mine can't take any more.

Angela said...

Ever since I found you and your blog, Grit, I kept returning! I so like your style, your courage, your inventiveness and wit, and as I said before, I wish I had had such an educator! So, no, don`t make it commercial but write whatever is in your heart, and we`ll all come back and get uplifted! Thank you for your blog!

katyboo1 said...

Good. It's working. Keep blogging. We will keep reading. I read all those debates on who is in with blogging and who is out with blogging and who feels included and who doesn't, and it just melted my mind.

Surely we write because we want to, and that's good enough? And we write about whatever we want, because we can, and it's the first time in history that ordinary people have truly had an egalitarian place to go to write whatever they damn well want, and that's fantastic.

Or something.

Grit said...

thank you for your comments people. i am humbled. but not weepy, mind. that would suggest a need for emotional validation and i'm damned if i prove anyone right there.

mamacrow said...

I'm with Sharon on this one - 'Selfishly I don't really care WHY you write your blog - just as long as you continue to do so!'

and some more of your early years weekly plans please!

Rachel M. said...

It's very easy to see how happy and confident your girls are by reading about their wide and varied interests. I think sometimes they have the best life because there is really no peer group influence to say it's time to stop fantasizing about unicorns. Is there really a good time to stop? Movie makers seem to revisit fantasy as adults. It's peer groups that can steer children the wrong direction. You're doing a great job Grit!

Grit said...

thank you mamacrow!

i think you are 100% right, rachel. my kids still play with their old soft toys; nobody ever made them feel ashamed or stupid or babyish for wanting to do that; they negotiate a lot of their relationships through play. by contrast, their friend came home after two days at school feeling ashamed because he still liked thomas the tank engine - then he played with it quietly at weekends for years while the family was sworn to secrecy. the sad side of having to grow up before they're ready.