Saturday, 5 May 2012

In my opinion, the cook should rule

Dig is home from Hong Kong.

You home-based partners of travelling people, don't you find this moment difficult? Not just in the contrasts of lifestyle - he navigates a course between England, Istanbul, and Hong Kong, and I navigate my way from the front room to the Co-op - we must also deal with shifts in the balance of power.

Because, when Dig is not here, I am Lord in this house.

Well, Lord is stretching it a bit far, but you know what I mean. I am the responsible adult. If something goes wrong, it's my fault. When bad things happen, I have to deal with them. And when important decisions are to be made, like what's for dinner, then Shark, Squirrel and Tiger must grow in maturity and rise to the decision making process without resorting to weapons.

But when Dig arrives home, all is different. I am usurped. My say is not final. The children can sense I am no longer Lord. They must consider another point of view in the dinner politic. Daddy Dig does not see pasta pie as food fit for a king.

Me and my brood eye each other suspiciously in our deliberations for dinner, wondering which way power will swing. I can see Shark, Squirrel and Tiger assess whether two adults count for more than three children in the distribution of the salad tomatoes, and whether a bid for best daughter might be in the offing if the last slice of pie is yielded without a fight. As I scrutinise the contents of the cupboard, I think that if four of the beings in the house are female, that should send the ball rolling in my direction, and potatoes are out. Or does one man who pays all the dinner bills count for more than four women, as some Lords who enjoy mashed potatoes would obviously like to imagine.

I put it to the children, if he is slumped on the sofa off his face with jet lag, does he deserve to count at all? Let us seize the moment, rob his wallet, and make the answer a takeaway.

6 comments:

Angela said...

I love it! My husband is away a lot at the moment and the dynamics of the family change upon his return often completely disrupting the flow we were in only to change it again when he leaves. Hope you had a fabulous takeaway ;-)

sharon said...

Yes indeed the cook should rule! Although it should probably be pointed out to the gritlet cooks that, sadly, cake does not always equate to a balanced diet.

Irene said...

Yes, the cook should rule, providing she fixes a blanced meal. But take out sounds good too. Not too heavy on the grease though.

Grit said...

thank you, angela!

what, sharon? should i tell squirrel that 'pink fairy fudge' isn't suitable for lunch?

only a healthy balti, of course, irene.

sharon said...

Hmmm . . . . probably depends what sort of mood she is in, pink fairy fudge might even be medicinal ;-)

kelly said...

Always a delicate dance that returning spouse thing. I find the best thing to do is chuck the kids at I'm for 12 hours whilst I go out. When I return, he has the same slightly crazed look that it took me three weeks to achieve but at least we are united :)