Liverpool Museum, er, in Liverpool

I have a slight problem about this.

Because here we are again. Going to enjoy another fine Liverpool museum and they're about to kick us out.

(The annoying head-in-the-way belongs to Squirrel)

But how can they do this to us? They taunt us with their collections, all dolled up, invite us over with an eye for the off-beat, unusual, delightfully curious, interesting, oh I could go on forever, and then they say Shove off. It's 5 o'clock and we're closing.

I tried to hide in the toilets.

Frankly, I was not surprised when I heard someone tried to throw themselves off this building the other night. They were probably clinging to the balcony shouting Make me leave, you bastards. MAKE ME.

Look, I know we are a bit odd about this - and when we were forced to leave, the man at the desk said in a voice hollow with shock Six hours? Isn't that long enough? - but you can put our oddity down to the fact that we are home educating types; we use museums as a constant source of information and we find a Saxon Liverpudlian head with unusual teeth extremely interesting.
 

 (Saxon Liverpudlian head. You cannot see the teeth in this photo)

We can't help it. Did you know Beryl Bainbridge wasn't only a writer but a fine painter? No, neither did I.

 (Beryl Bainbridge, painter)

And they have bits of old pot! I could spend at least an hour looking at those.

(Bits of old pot)

So it is with some regret, and a small amount of confrontation, that we have to leave the Museum of Liverpool. Yet again. I did not threaten anyone with the toilet roll holder, ignore that. But I did state the obvious. Stop throwing us out, and organise yourselves a later closing time. Then you can do the decent thing by a home educating woman transfixed by your original Saxon head with unusual teeth.