Monday, 30 July 2007

The lamb

So here's a pointless exchange.

La famille Grit has just arrived home from an outing in the car. Everyone gets out, except Squirrel, who is standing up inside the car, and Grit, who is unpacking bags from the car to carry into the house.

S = Squirrel and G = Grit

S: I want an apple.
G: We're outside the house! Go in the house and have an apple there. I can't stand in the street peeling apples when we can do it in the house. Anyway, I haven't got any apples. Ermintrude has the apples. And she's in the house.
S: Then I'm not moving.
G: Well don't move then. Now I'm going in the house. Are you staying in the car?

[Squirrel sticks her nose in the air and starts on her way to the car door with kicking legs, like she's not in control of them but that's the direction they're taking her in.]

S: No.
G: Well I'm shutting the door. Are you on that side (pointing to car interior) or this side? (pointing to pavement)
S: Hrrhmmhmmha

[Squirrel, harumphing all the time while making exaggerated leg movements, gets out the car, and dramatically flounces to the front door. Once in the lobby, she blocks the entrance, stamps her feet, crosses her arms and sticks her nose in the air again.

G: I'm not staying here. I'm carrying things. Go and see if Ermintrude has the apples.
S: It's not fair!
G: What's not fair?
S: Shark! Shark is working against me with the lamb.
G: Working against you with the lamb? What does that mean?
S: She has the lamb. And it's my lamb. And I didn't say she could borrow it!
G: I can't put up with this malarky. This bag is heavy!

[Grit pushes past Squirrel, drops the bag in the hall, and turns round.]

G: What are you talking about?
S: I didn't say she could borrow the lamb and use it against me did I? I said she could borrow it for two minutes! Is it two minutes now?!
G: Well ask for it back. Now come inside.
S: No.

Oh dear. I can't go on. The argument about the apples, lamb, and then a paper chain, lasted for 43 minutes more and mostly took place in doorways.

I warned you it was pointless.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

But you are nicer than me. I would have got an apple and then prepared it and eaten it myself v-e-r-y slowly in front of her.

Followed by launching the lamb over the gate and setting fire to the paper chain.

btw, the last initial in the exchange should be an S.