Educational experience

Grit has a plan. She is taking Squirrel, Shark and Tiger off to some disused gravel pits that are being turned into wetland and woodland.

Walking around this newly filled and planted area is part of our trees project and I plan to lecture everyone here about disused gravel pits, replanting schemes, forest management and the Forestry Commission. In that order. Everyone will have a good bracing walk in the cold wind and enjoy themselves and learn about trees and then I can come home happy for today we have done home ed.

We get to the gravelly car park and I jump out to lead the troops on a brisk three-mile walk round the biggest gravel pit of all. Unfortunately, overcome by the enthusiasm of this blasted wilderness full of gravel, water and trees which come up only to my knees, Grit's ability to read English fails, and so she strides straight past the sign that says 'PLEASE USE SURFACED PATHS ONLY DUE TO HEAVY FLOODING'.

In fact Grit ignores this sign like it might be written in Urdu, which she also cannot read, and marches right by it shouting 'let's go that way!'

Sadly, Shark, Squirrel and Tiger do not pay too much attention to signs either, and skip along happily ignoring everything as well.

Perhaps I could blame this general inability to respect signage as some sort of home ed thing. Of course they cannot possibly mean us! We are home educated! Of course the sign refers to the general public only!

It is only in hindsight that she recalls the strange looks given to her by the elderly couple towing the sad, wet dog coloured grey back into the car park.

Oh dear. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then here's three thousand, plus captions.


'Mummy! Look! The path ends in a big puddle!'
'What? Squirrel, don't be silly. We'll just go round the puddle on that hummocky grassy thing over there. Shark, you didn't remember to change out of your tennis shoes for this walk did you?'


'Oh **** and ****. Bloody hell. No don't bloody repeat that. ****ing hell how are we going to get out of this. Oh **** I've never seen so much ****ing mud. Squirrel, get up. Tiger, it is not funny. Shark, I'll buy you a new pair.'

One hour later ...


OK, we will do the lecture later.