Monday, 17 March 2008

Let us read

Today I said 'We are going to do some reading'. I don't know why I said that. I've said it before. And I should have learnt, by now.

Teaching a child to read goes on all the time, of course, by shopping and cooking and working out when Coast is on the TV, but sometimes one might be foolishly compelled to do this reading thing self-consciously. With awareness and pursuit of a goal. Like sitting down on the sofa and not sounding out the word over.

Grit: Shall we read My mum is mad, Tiger?
Tiger: No.
Grit: Oh, let's. I'd love to read it with you!
Tiger: If I can draw a picture afterwards.
Grit: Of course. I will even sharpen the crayons. How cool a mum am I?
Tiger (laboriously sounding out every word while mummy Grit bites her knuckles in despair): 'On .... Monday .... I .... went ... oven ...
Shark (entering room even though she has already been banned, twice): Over. It's over. Not oven.
Tiger (Long howl): Shark said it! Shark said it! (Longer howl) She said it first and now there is no point! (Hurls book across room and flees, weeping.)
Grit: Thanks, Shark. Nice one.

Later.

Grit: Squirrel, would you like to read Fun at the Park?
Squirrel: No.
Grit: Are we going to make chocolate cake soon?
Squirrel (Pauses to consider options): Alright then.
Grit: Excellent! Off we go!
Squirrel: I ... went ... to ... the ...
Shark: park.
Squirrel: Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth! (Throws self at Shark who is hiding behind sofa. Ten minute fight ensues, resulting in Shark and Squirrel being banned from the front room.)

Later.

Grit: Shark, would you like to read Operation Badger to me?
Shark: No. Reading is boring.

5 comments:

Brad said...

I have to say you have heart woman, you keep going back for more. There is a pay off eventually. Really. XO

Kelly Jene said...

Oy. You are my hero. No doubt about it. Reading is a never ending journey here as well. Today my oldest son read to us out loud, it was almost a milestone.

Your retelling of the events is so comical that while I feel your pain, I can't help but laugh!

Trevor said...

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...but 'go Shark!'

these boots said...

LOL - we have a similar problem here. M is 18 months younger than A, but M has an excellent memory and likes to say the words to A when she is struggling .... shrieking, weeping and fighting always ensues ...

Grit said...

hi brad ... i am a sucker for punishment on this one.

kelly jean - have you bitten your nails to the quick on this one?

trevor! i will post shark to you as a warning of things to come!

and yes, these boots, i'm glad to know we're not alone!