Saturday, 31 May 2008

The Grit kiss of doom

We have had technological advancements here at the Pile. And I do not mean the delivery of a new laptop which is mine, and which is sitting right this moment on a table somewhere, while Dig says he is 'working on it'. This means I cannot use it until it has been 'passed over to me'. I am in anticipation of that process. Actually it will mean being taught things like how to turn it on and off.

Well the technological leap forward is not that. It is that today Dig installed a statcounter on this site.

Are you impressed? Are you impressed? Please be impressed, because this might be your only chance.

Grit, of course, is very impressed.There it is! she squeals. A little counter! Then she takes to poring over all the lovely statistics. Look! she cries! Someone just looked at my blog! Wow! It is me! That is exciting! If I look at my blog, then the little charts go up! Look, Dig, look!

After ten minutes of this, Grit has twenty hits on her blog. Eighteen are Grit, one is Dig during testing, and someone has wandered in from Bath. At this last revelation, Grit is beside herself with joy. Even though the visitor from Bath quickly exits after spending 0 seconds perusing Grit's day blogspot. She is almost ready to jump into the car, drive to Bath and go and hunt down that fella, the nearly-reader of Grit's day and give them a big old smackeroo for nearly reading, but not quite, but hey! there's always a next time, right?! And then, guess what? The site hosting the stat counter explodes.

No, seriously. There is an explosion, boom boom type of explosion, at the other end of the wire. Several large chunks of computer equipment leap several foot into the air, there is an electrical fire and my statcounter disappears. You think I'm making this up don't you, just to prove that Grit is the kiss of doom? Well here's the bulletin put out by the statcounter people:
On Saturday 31 May there was an explosion in The Planet Data Center in Houston Texas. Electrical gear shorted, creating an explosion and fire that knocked down three walls. On the instructions of the Fire Department, The Planet then turned off all power to the Data Center resulting in 9,000 servers being knocked offline.
Well, as you happy readers of Grit's day know, along with any bad news there is also good news. Because the someone from Bath who wandered in by accident is now safe from a big Grit kiss. Now I have no stat counter at all and cannot tell when you don't come back.

So I will just have to give any accidental visitors, from Bath or otherwise, your big old smackeroos right here.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

14 comments:

Potty Mummy said...

I'm not accidental - do I still get the smacker? (Don't answer that). And stat counters are over-rated. You get used to looking at it, they go up, you go on holiday and never check and guess what? The stats go down. Probably because I haven't been looking at it. Who knew stat counters were such sensitive flowers?

Brad said...

When ever I look at my sitemeter I always enjoy seeing that little green dot over England and I think of you.

Where's my kiss ?

Beyondmywildest. said...

I'm here and have been for about two minutes so far. I have you on my feeds so read most of your posts but don't comment much because sometimes I want to laugh which would obviously be very rude and sometimes I want to race over to where you live and rescue you. Luckily, for us both I suspect, I have no idea where you live. No really, don't tell me.

OvaGirl said...

Oh dear. I guess that means my statcounter blew up too. I also enjoy looking at the places people come from and yes most are from my house. Another amusing thing is to see what people put into Google that made them click onto your site...

congrats on the new laptop, that is most exciting. And is that because we are approaching end of financial year and so it is good for tax and may be on special. Because that sounds good to me.

sharon said...

You will henceforth be known as 'The Blogger That Broke The Stat Counter's Back'

Mwah to you too!

these boots said...

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! from a little dot hovering somewhere in France.

Trevor said...

Well done. I can't figure out how to add a statcounter to the new version of Blogger so you're further ahead than me (any hints appreciated). But enough of this - did Shark enjoy her sailing? And where is Tiger's movie? Stop teasing us!

Kitty said...

Oooh, am I on your stats now? Hooray and hurrah. I have Statcounter on the Bloggy Bits - I love it. Not only do I get a small thrill that a viewer in Mexico accidentally hit the blog, but I love to look at the search terms that get people there in the first place. So many people must be disappointed: I get a lot looking for stuff about nipples. Oh, and snogging. I'll have to write a story about two nipples who met and snogged.

So pleased you've got your own laptop - excellent news! x

Minnie said...

I put one of those on my blog, too. A live traffic feed type of thingy. I, too, seemed to be visiting my own blog an awful lot...tad embarassing..even though it reckons I live in another city, in a totally different county!!

Grit said...

hi potty mummy! statcounters are clearly a habit which i canot afford to keep... i will get the thing working again and promise myself no more looks than just once a week.

brad, c'mon now, i bet you get lots from little blighties. mwah!mwah!

hi beyondmywildest! i hope you do laugh, i really do, because sometimes that's my only option too!

ahem, ovagirl, let's just say the new toy, sorry computer, is a business essential which i'm sure we can claim against in due course. (and it was cheap.)

sharon i've convinced myself it really was me that did it. i got 20 minutes out of that thing before it blew up. that's got to be more than coincidence, right?

as soon as it's back up working again boots, i'm off to scrutinise france XX

hi trevor! i think shark is a natural sailor... her tutor (is that the right word?) says in time she would be good in a youth squad. i beamed. tiger's animation is temporarily suspended because daddy dig who controls the computer element has pushed off to sweden where he is not having a holiday. they better get it sorted out pdq because a visitor needs the bedroom. i mean studio.

hi kitty! i am going to be a stat counter tart and put up a heading soon that reads sex, sex, more XXXX sex and sex, just by way of a key word experiment, obviously.

Grit said...

hi minnie, i will not become an addict ... i cannot afford to fit in the hours i would spend scrutinising the result!

Kelly Jene said...

Wow. Only in your house. :) Just kidding.

Mwah!!

Dori said...

Having recently installed a counter myself, I'm still in the "Wow...this is really cool!" stage. I find an odd reassuring connection in the returning dots--the ones I know aren't me or family!

Jax said...

oh, it was you was it?