Monday, 26 May 2008

What's in your pocket?

Grit spends bank holiday Monday putting mud-smelly clothes in the washing machine and taking rose-petal smelly clothes out of the washing machine. Exciting, huh?

Well not as exciting as this. The evidence I found in the family pockets. You can probably match the crime to the criminal.

Evidence A:

Assortment of nails and screws, a Co-op receipt for a loaf of bread, hairbands, a pile of sand, lip salve, used tissues, red foil wrapper from the chocolate mint thing provided by the local Indian take away, remnant of a to-do list and, ahem, a folded up crisp packet retrieved from a jeans back pocket. Clearly the latter item has nothing to do with me and I do not know how it got there.

Evidence B:

Nothing much here, except lots of tissues for a sneezing fit and a plastic fish. I think we know who these belong to. A type of clean-living gal with a fondness for all things aquatic. I'm sure she takes after me.

Evidence C:

Hmmm. Plastic ELC credit card. And that's it. Now which of my daughters veers unerringly to the sequined party frocks for a wet day out in the zoo, chooses the sparkly strappy sandals over the sensible shoes required for a visit to a field, throws hissy fits when she cannot get what she wants, considers a credit card a suitable alternative to financial planning, and in all probability will become a good time girl with a serious spend habit. I am sure I was never like that.

Evidence D:

Assortment of gravel, home-made paper mouse, cake crumbs, hair bands, chalk, bits of leaf, wobbly finger top monster and aha! that's where the little screwtop lid of the tomato puree tube went. I think we have found the criminal of the house. And someone didn't get their nickname round here for nothing.

Evidence E:

Completely empty pockets. I deduce someone destroys all evidence before I get to it. Or possibly they are already cleaned out, thanks to maintaining the pockets of the above.

And now I wonder what can be found identifying your life and crimes in your pockets?


Dori said...

It's a daily ritual here--the emptying of the pockets! Always amazed at the amount and variety that a 3-year-old can stuff in his pocket!

Thanks for stopping by for a visit! Always nice to meet new people. And Good Lord! Home schooling triplets?! I'll have to stop by more often to put my life into perspective!! :D

Brad said...

Quick! Get the little grits. I think this counts as an archeology lesson.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Evidence E bothers me. It's too neat, too calculating. I'm sorry, but it says serial killer to me.

I LOVE the crisp packet in your back pocket! I put it to you that you sneaked off to the loo to scoff them, then couldn't find anywhere to dispose of the evidence, so thought you'd slip it into your back pocket. Am i wrong??!

Grit said...

Hi dori! gravel has always been a big favourite here. we encouraged them to stuff it into their pockets to stop them stuffing it into their mouths.

you're right brad, i'm missing a lesson here!

hi pig, i think you might be right on evidence E. dig says it's just a new postee, but now i'm suspicious. where did the old one go? that's what i'd like to know. i shall take a discreet turn by the patio later.

i am not a good criminal. you are right about secret scoffing in the loo. of course i can no longer use the cupboard under the stairs because it is full of dead bodies.

Mean Mom said...

You remember to empty pockets, before putting things in the washing machine? Wow! If only I could have remembered to do that, occasionally!

My neighbours once did a load of washing for me, when the lads were young and my machine was broken. When they unloaded the machine, there was a biro inside the drum! They smiled through gritted (sorry about the partial pun) teeth and never offered to do any washing for me, ever again.

sharon said...

I have almost managed to block out memories of the things found in my sons' pockets before washing their clothes. I'm only shuddering slightly now!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

you see planning a murder could be quite a good home ed topic, all that preparation, ruthless meditation, the physical execution, all these things are very good skills to have in life.