Tuesday, 10 June 2008

In training

Human beings are amazing, are they not? Every experience they have in life is filed and stored away as a tiny memory somewhere on that enormous super-dooper computer brain. Then one day, when the need arises, out of that stored experience will burst an idea of what to do; your hidden experience guides you, even though you never had this situation before!

So mummy Grit is smart and forward thinking. She takes her babies on an army assault course. She prays that one day, should her little Squirrel, Tiger and Shark face mortal danger, locked in a burning building, forced to escape through caves, wrapped up in seaweed or having to jump from a very high up place, then somehow, because of this day's memory, they will know what to do. This life protecting experience will guide them and save them.

Of course, because this is the real world, this exercise will probably come in handy, ten years from now, when mummy Grit and daddy Dig holler Good grief! What are you wearing? You are not leaving the house looking like that! Get upstairs right now and change! Because if you attempt to step one foot out of this house we will barricade the doors and tie up the windows with ropes and bike locks!

OK Missy! You've had it. Right. Now see if you can get out of this house wearing THOSE SHOES and THAT SKIRT!

(To be repeated in 10 year's time wearing stilettos and a pelmet.)


the mother of this lot said...

I agree Grit, you have been forward thinking here. And I'm glad the Gritlets had a good time on the assault course. Because they won't need it in later life.

In ten years time, when they are wearing stilettoes and pelmets and you start the 'Hey Missy' routine, you'll just get three disparaging looks, three choruses of 'Mum! Chill, will ya!' and they'll totter off up the street anyway.

And until they learn to walk in the stilettoes, you will often be reminded of Lily Savage.

Aren't you glad there's someone to impart all this knowledge years before it actually becomes reality?

Kelly Jene said...

Looks like a ton of fun! Things like that will stick in the mind and I really believe girls should train like that. They won't need it (fingers crossed) but it's good to know.

Brad said...

Perfect training for the young grit to have for the future day they'll be presented with opportunity to escape the embrace of a sweaty adolesent boy.

I had to google pelmet.

Two peoples seperated by a common language and all that...

Maggie May said...

Thank the Lord they are not boys & that you won't (Most likely though can't completely rule it out) have black leather clad bikers plodding tarmac through your house at unearthly hours. The sleepless nights of wondering where they could be............ and the terrible 6.30 am call from a hospital, telling of an accident!
Hopefully girls will be sweeter, kinder to you & not want to worry you! Who am I kidding?!!!!

Frog in the Field said...

I used to wear pelmets and boots.
My jackets were most certainly longer than my skirts!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

PLEASE, can I come to your school?! this looks such fun! were there beefy types with rock hard biceps and thighs bellowing orders in a gritty, if-you-don't-listen-i'll-be-rough-with-you kind of a way?


OvaGirl said...

Yes and carrying their fake id and mobile phones. Coming from a family of three big girls and one little one where the third sister was The Naughtiest and used to sneak out at night regularly (I wouldn't have dreamed of it)I believe my father found a blowpipe and several darts laced with a strong sleeping drug to be most effective. But I thought he was a bit strict myself.

Have looked at the other HE blog grit. She seems very nice (although rated poorly in duckling survival) and I'm sure would love to have you join the ring.

Grit said...

you are right motl, i am grateful for your wisdoms. i may take to the stilettoes myself one day, while i can still walk, anyhow.

hi kelly jene! they loved it, and will probably want to do something foolish now, like bungee jumping.

oh brad that is an image... i wish i hadn't had!

maggie may, now i am considering myself fortunate. unless their boyfriends are bikers, of course, then i'm in trouble.

do you have pictures, frog?!

pig, you would be sadly disappointed. there was mostly mummy grit running about taking photographs. and the only squaddie types i saw were definitely not worth running after.

ovagirl, the blow pipe solution is excellent and sounds like a new ending for the story of the 12 dancing princesses.

Frog in the Field said...

Of course..but I'm not showing.