Look to your laurels, Hirst.

Grit has wind of this. Today's artists might want me to be shocked, disturbed, outraged. I don't know. Boredom would be a good word. Not another model on a toilet. Hey, Turner artists, we already have a mermaid on ours. We thought everyone did that stuff nowadays. I mean, nailing celery to the wall, chucking a rat out of the window and videotaping ourselves hunting monks are so yesterday.

Well, Grit does something she has intended to do for a long while, so the Turner artists can't claim credit for this reaction. She has a word with the boss of the local community hall and books the art gallery space for Squirrel, Shark and Tiger for next June 2009 to exhibit their acrylic on canvas. Not that we have any acrylic on canvas to show of course. Or any talent. How we enter into the spirit of Modern Art!

Anyway, I get everyone off to Whipsnade Zoo for an observational drawing session, so we can commit our efforts to canvas and collect some pieces to show.

Squirrel's first draft. All she has to do is smear horse shit all over it,
and I'll be submitting it to Turner 2009. It could be a winner.