Thursday, 16 October 2008

Dig goes to Korea. Or somewhere.

Now I feel awful. Not that Dig exited the front door dodging missiles, daggers, or words like Never come back. Quite the opposite. Dig has been with us all summer, mostly. Probably the longest continuous time he has spent at home for several years, all rolled into four months. We got used to him upsetting us, carving out his own space, leaving a step ladder in the office, building an irritating tower of papers on the floor, probably so he can shout at us when we knock those over while avoiding the ladder. And now he's gone.

Thinking about things, it's not the worst. That was Nottingham. When the children were a month old and, back from hospital barely a week - four or five days - I was dreading him going away even for one night because I didn't know how the bottle steriliser thing worked. That was the only time I have ever asked him not to go. Well I didn't exactly ask, more collapsed sobbing, blubbing and pleading somewhere about the level of the floor. Really, I had to summon up all my energy to keep living, forget taking charge of mewling red-faced babies who were so tiny you'd have lost them in your pockets.

That was a long time ago. I'm stronger now, and have realised this streak of Gritness, which is all about melding the top teeth to the bottom teeth and getting on with it. Because if I don't, the only other options I can think of are death, drugs or vodka.

Complaining is good of course, and I'm better at that too. And I will complain this time, because Dig's itinerary is exciting - compared to Grit for whom the highlight is a local field in the mud. Over the next month or so Dig will be feted about Korea, Japan, Taiwan, China.

Let me say now that the more light industrial estates he's frog marched about, the better.

Because of course once I would have tagged along, fulfilling my role in life as a pointless clothes horse, enjoying the top table without having done anything to earn it, except slept with the top boy. Not that I'm regretful about that of course, because it's not a bad life if you can get away with it.

Well we're all left behind now, and the whole household is quiet. Not the crying I would have expected from Shark, Squirrel and Tiger, who probably take this See you later in their stride. Only weeping from me, because I need to have it over and done with so I can emerge to cook veggie rice, complaining about the onions and don't worry, it will be alright because we're going to have fun! Now about tomorrow. Who wants to collect conkers in the field? Ordinary words like that.

Today the only grit I've got is one that's morose, self pitying and heading for the beer.

Tomorrow, I'll be clenching those teeth and heading back to that field, complaining.


Lynn said...

Ohhh Grit,I can't think of anything to say that will make it feel any better!! Even in your darkest moments you manage to leave those of us who read with a smile.I hope you feel like smiling again really soon(((hugs)) to you from me.xx

sharon said...

Oooh, does this mean more unrestrained posts?

It's a shame you have to be Dig-less for so much of the time. No idea how you manage so well. Have a beer (or two but don't get carried away) and a large bar of illicit chocolate on me. Yes, you can hide under the stairs to consume them if necessary ;-)

Will e-mail properly soon, have been a bit pre-occupied lately

Samurai Beetle said...

Maybe he will get a hotel that has wrap around rooms and an open center from top to bottom with a piano man who plays an endless stream of sappy love songs and Happy Birthday over and over from 6pm - midnight and the only escape is to leave the building because the horrific sound permeates every room. By the third week one just wants to scream shut the f@*p up!!!

Also, tell your husband to leave strict instructions with the laundry staff in Japan or a Japanese hotel in any of the countries to NOT use starch when laundering dress shirts - they tend to use so much the shirt can stand up can play a hand of cards.

If he happens to love cinnamon, take it with him. It's easier then trying to explain it to hotel staff in Japan or a Japanese hotel in any of the countries.

I'm just saying these trips, while exciting can be rough on the creature comforts.

I know none of this makes up for an absent spouse, just hoping for a quick laugh to distract the mind.

kellyi said...

It sucks.

I can offer sympathy. I have a spouse who has to go away for work (or so he tells me.) Some times I get notice, and some times I don't. He came home yesterday to tell me he is in Germany next week.

In June when I was expecting baby number four, it was touch and go whether his busy schedule would let him be present - he could have been in one of three US States or Italy, however the threat of me phoning his boss and making him my birth partner ensured that he was about. (I get sweary and bite when having babies.)

The upside is the amount of time you get to see them when they are at home. (Although when they are getting on your nerves, this can start to feel like a down side!)

Grit said...

thank you lynn, i will be alright, honest!

yes sharon, i will be an unrestrained loudmouth again shortly. that will make a change.

hi sb! i am hoping right now he lands in that hotel with piano man, i really am.

hi kelly! you are right: on balance, a block of time away is better than working mon-fri from early morning to late at night. i feel better now, thank you!

Anonymous said...

Phew that's tough. But as a person who's job entails significant travel (although I don't ahve an other half to leave at home) I can state catagorically that it isn't as much fun as it sounds! But I'm sure that isn't much recompense.

I hope he brings back some decent duty free and I suppose it is a good topic for discussion in a spontaneous geography lesson?

Irene said...

I would be heartbroken, sorry Grit, that doesn't help you one bit, does it? But you have to be a tough broad and pull it off somehow and act like you can handle this just fine, while crying in your pillow. I hope there are people around you who can help you out now and then and take up some of the slack and be a support to you for all that time. It's hard to be the only adult. Good luck to you, kiddo, don't clench those teeth too hard.