Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Do you have any complaints?

Who did I pinch this trick from to stop those triplet complaints? Probably another triplet parent who is smarter than me, but thanks to that wise person, we now have a complaints procedure in this house.

This is the procedure.

1. Do not come to me saying 'I hate Shark/Tiger/Squirrel, she is a poopy because she is ... blah blah blah'... I will not listen. No. You have to write it down.

2. Write down the exact nature of your complaint, and leave it on my desk.

3. Then, we discuss the issue calmly all together in the house meeting (i.e. dinnertime).

There are clear advantages to this system, and for those I want to thank that wise parent from the bottom of my heart.

It has put a brake on the long line of sharkdidthisohyessharkdiddiddid.

This system also demands that everyone considers the exact nature of the complaint. It totally avoids the rehearsal of a long line of grudge. (Mostly because they can't be bothered to write it all out and they can't spell it all either.)

And, of course, with this system, everyone gets to write something everyday. Sometimes twice.

In fact this system has worked fine for a few days. I have been inundated with notes. Mostly from Squirrel, clearly destined for law: I don't like sisters calling me names. Tiger has my dolly coat. I don't like feeling excluded. Shark woke me up this morning by shouting. Tiger had a long time at the computer. Shark ate the last bit of pie.

But today when I walk in, there on my keyboard is the following terse message.

Endeavouring to stay one step ahead of this, I will inform Squirrel that we now have a complaints form, and all complaints must be filled in on that, or they don't count.

And if that doesn't get me anywhere, I will get her on the capital letters.


Irene said...

Yes, definitely point out the improper use of capital letters to her and tell her that her argument will loose power because of it. Also for any spelling mistakes and especially for letters written backwards.

Merry said...

Completely brilliant. Consider it nicked!

Jan said...

I laughed more at this that I have laughed at anything for ages, ground down as I am by the torrent of "Mummy, she said..." "But Mummy, she wouldn't stop doing..." Brilliant idea.

Samurai Beetle said...

Must stay one step ahead of them at all times!

Minnie said...

Ooooh, you are good...getting them to write something down every day:o)

Think I might try the 'it's not valid unless you get the capital letters right' ploy. clever girl"o))

Grit said...

irene, that's a fine list of literacy crimes. i could get her on wobbly lines as well.

tell us how it goes, merry!

hi jan! it is hard work listening to it, but i have to say this has only been a short-term solution!

it's training for the boardroom perhaps sb?

hi minnie! it's worked splendidly for ...um about 3 days...

sharon said...

I suggest all grammatically correct, neatly written complaints (on the appropriate form, of course)are held over for arbitration by Dig.