I wake up this morning at 6am sit bolt upright and think
I MUST EAT PASTRY
so I pull Squirrel out of bed to make sure I'm not hallucinating or suffering brain hemorrhage then I make her run with me to the shops to buy a shortcrust pastry block then we whistle that soft block back home double-quick where I stuff it with feta cheese and tomatoes and
I EAT PASTRY WITH PASSION
but this is a very surprising turn of eatery-event because for 40 years I have declared
I HATE PASTRY
maybe except filo pastry soaked in nuts and honey so where did it come from this
STRANGE AND THIRSTY LUST FOR PASTRY
but it cannot be that I am pregnant unless 4,000-year old peat bog
women can become spontaneously pregnant maybe through witchcraftery and
demons working overtime in dreams
but the children remain in a state of shock about this unwarned-about conversion so I'm telling them tomorrow
WATCH OUT!
because I might just wake up at 5.30am to leap out of bed and renounce my 30-year old vegetarian diet with the shout
NOW I MUST EAT A CHICKEN BUT I HAVE TO PLUCK IT GUT IT AND KILL IT FIRST.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
It must be all hormonal. That's the only explanation for it. Now you've made me hungry for pastry and chicken. Darn it...
you must be right, irene. i am definitely going through a strange phase. perhaps it is a middle aged crisis and i am having pastry instead of an affair, thus sealing my reputation as a boring bastard forever.
Post a Comment