Monday, 4 August 2008

Qualified status

It is Squirrel's turn for watersports lessons at the lake.

She's going to throw herself into the murky depths from a kayak, and she's been looking forward to it for days. I tell her I could give her a shove at the end of the pier and save myself fifty quid but apparently this is not the same experience at all. For a start, Squirrel claims, I am not an instructor and do not know what I am doing. Then she holds against me the fact that I have never been in a kayak and cannot even explain the difference between a kayak and a canoe. She then says I do not how to launch a canoe. Adding insult to injury, she then claims I do not know what a lake looks like. Finally, she gratuitously adds that she bets I could not fit my bum into a wet suit.

Enough of this persecution, I say, because if it continues, then do you know what I shall do? Throw you in the lake right now and claim the status of parent irritated by child, for which I have enough professional qualifications already, thank you very much.

1 comment:

sharon said...

Having read ahead to the back to front wet-suit incident, I assume this is the original occasion! Personally I might have been tempted to try the upside down approach too! Maybe you could try this the next time....