Wednesday, 12 September 2012

I call it the tensions of a creative relationship

Not doing anything worth reporting today.

Busy. Shouting at the children, throwing great lumps of congealed pasta at them and gnawing on dried gruel (aka my nutritional salvation: oat biscuits). Busy. Busy. Busy. Working with Dig.

Dig is in Hong Kong and I am in England, but that doesn't stop us fighting over the composition of the Great Book of the Comma (not for sale in a bookshop near you). For this two-handed operation read (his part) writing and photographing, and (my part) copy editing, photograph cropping, and general page designing and layouting.

The wrods and pictures bounce between us, peaceably and affably enough for a couple of minutes, but then things begin to break down, probably over the placement of the butter dish but more likely because he is WRONG and I am RIGHT. Then the tone of the emails begin to sound a tadge tetchy, what with the phrases if you actually read it and it's not rocket science being thrown about, before the obvious becomes painfully clear. One hand of the operation is itching to type fuck off and the other hand is merely waiting for the opportunity to come over all hoity-toity moral and holier-than-thou. (Not telling who adopts which role there.)

By the end of an hour, I thought, I shall get a blog post out of this, matey, and indeed, was half-minded to blast the entire declining email exchange over Planet Internet, driven as I am by the outrage of injustice, but then I quickly thought better of it, having a regard to my roof and bread and all our rights of privacy.

Suffice to say, neither of us came out well.

But to anyone foolish enough to desire to work closely in any creative procedure with a chosen life-partner, I can impart to you my advice, which I have gained from much intensive scrutiny of communication between one part of a nearly-functioning working relationship and the other, and it is this. Watch the quantity of kisses at the foot. The more resentful, frustrated, ugly and bitter the relationship is becoming (by the minute) the more kisses are offered. I submit, merely for example:

DA1 is NOT the same as DA1 which is what you did before and I have moved to DA0 which yes you haven't seen but it is a new PART and as such starts on a LEFT and NO. That photograph looks dreadful. If you insist on sticking it in the gutter, then do it. But you are WRONG.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Grit

Right that's it. You are unlikely to get any more spreads tonight although I will TRY but now I'm off into the dark to see if I can find a loaf of bread and apparently it is $20 night at Dev's bar. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Dig

Pretty good going in under 2 hours. And we both started off with one x.

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