Thursday, 22 August 2013

Day off

Enjoy a hive-free day! Yay! I have a face! With eyelids! Godknows how that was achieved. Probably I hit some magic combination of antihistamine, fish oil supplement and probiotic yak pee. I have tried a few esoteric solutions now. The usual ones like coconut oil, olive oil, goat milk, baby lotion, soda potion, pee and honey? I tried them all already.

Whatever, enjoy the day. No doubt the magic balance I achieved for such calm facial harmony will be gone tomorrow, when I will once again officially carry my public certification as one of society's more ugly members.

The thing is, I find that many remedies work. For about an hour, until the hives flood back again. So I can say, in all level-headed consideration of the matter, that chronic hives are one of the most horrible things I have ever had to endure, and I have had quite a few challenges to date.

Hives are like a burn; they can tear open skin that becomes as dry as sandpaper (nice). I can wear only particular clothes (smooth white cotton). I can eat only a restricted diet. I carry the anxiety that straying from my miserable fare will cause that type of pain which is beyond tears. Imagine going face down into the nettle bed! Come up again smiling; you may as well. You have to endure it all day and all night and there is nothing you can do about it. 

Anyway, Doctor NHS refuses to prescribe yet more short-term steroids; he says my idea about taking them on-off is a great idea. If I want to die. So I have a fistful of more pink tablets that won't do anything, I keep another pointless diary, and next month I can enjoy another trip to the dermatology clinic, where I will set myself a personal challenge to provoke the nurse to naughty laughter at vulgar jokes involving the word pizzle.

Otherwise, there is nothing good about this condition. Even the name is crap, isn't it? It sounds like not much at all, maybe something that is picture book and possibly cute, like fat-bellied bees in yellow striped waistcoats. But I want a proper horrible sounding name like Skewerataxicosis. Any foul sounding names to call this horrible state, gratefully received.

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