Friday, 24 July 2009

Grit is time poor

Thanks to having organised, at the last minute, a week's holiday.

The holiday is to be locked up in a concrete bunker with two kids on the Isle of Wight, England's smallest county. I will be unable to get off the island during peak holiday season and a swine flu pandemic. Come Tuesday I see myself weeping, holding an ear thermometer, a bottle of Calpol and the swine flu hotline number. Dig will be at home preparing to leave for India. The other misplaced kid is abandoned somewhere en route at the back of a horse with a pot of glitter.

It's all less exciting than it sounds.

And a week's holiday with two of my offspring WILL BE a lot of FUN.

I have gritted my teeth in preparation and packed the portable DVD player. By Wednesday, forgive me if I am drinking heavily, kicking myself, and effing and blinding, and the latter no longer under my breath.

Because why and how I have contrived this absurd set of circumstances I am not sure. It is one of those happenings that made perfect logical sense while it is all unfolding and in retrospect now feels like a bad script that I can't get out of, but in the next Act, there appears a burned out Volvo, three snakes and a pygmy. Perhaps then, the Dyson will drive us home.

But while I am making love to the Dyson, tackling the fire, trapping the snakes and defeating the pygmy, I will be internetless and out of communication.

On the bright side, I have made time for a holiday haircut. This is not at the local salon with Kylie, but is upstairs in the disused bathroom with Grit, thrashing around hacking at her head with a pair of scissors, because life is just too short to fit everything in.

And I will leave you with this delightful scrap of almost-conversation which passes for tenderness in our household.

Grit: (Big Burp)
Shark: Mummy! You are not blaming me for that again.


mamacrow said...

well, um.. you have a nice time!

The Green Stone Woman said...

Hi Grit, there's an award for you over at my place, please come and get it.

Mamma Po said...

You'll have a ball. The Island may be England's smallest county but it's also the sunniest! Wonderful beaches (try Compton Bay), boat trips (from Cowes you can take a river taxi all the way up the Medina to a lovely riverside pub called The Folly Inn for lunch - call the Folly for the taxi number), farms where you can feed baby animals and all kinds of other wondrous pursuits. Honestly. And I don't work for the tourist board. I just live there.

mamacrow said...

oh and Black Gang Chine - still a classic!

Mud in the City said...

Have a wonderful time and leave the scissors at home....with the Dyson.

Suzywoozy said...

You will have a lovely time here. We love being on the Isle of Wight. I'd invite you round but me and the Maybe It Mutters man are planning our escape from the island even as I type.

Casdok said...

Hopeing you all have a fab time :)

More than Just a Mother said...

Crikey. Er... bon voyage?

Rebel Mother said...

Oh, how I laughed!

But, seriously, get Kylie to cut your, really...pleeeease!

My Nan got her mate to hack her hair - shocking!

Hope you survive your hol! RMxx

Rebel Mother said...

It's me again!

I've tagged you over at mine - if you get a mo and will you just put those scissors down???

Love RMxx

Grit said...

thank you all for your comments people. i am catching up now in all directions.